To Room Nineteen by Doris Lessing
"To Room Nineteen" is a short story by Doris Lessing that explores the complex emotional landscape of a seemingly perfect suburban family. The narrative centers on Susan Rawlings, a woman who grapples with a profound sense of inadequacy and isolation despite her conventional life with her husband Matthew and their four children. As their twelve-year marriage progresses, Susan finds herself increasingly disillusioned with the roles of wife and mother, feeling that her responsibilities are suffocating her individuality.
When Matthew's infidelity arises, Susan initially responds with understanding, but her internal struggles deepen as she seeks solace in a spare room in their home, which ultimately becomes a metaphor for her lost identity. Her attempts to reclaim her freedom lead her to create a new persona, "Mrs. Jones," where she experiences brief moments of solitude in a hotel room. However, this escape becomes fraught with complications when Matthew suspects her of infidelity and hires a detective. The story culminates in a tragic exploration of Susan's despair and her ultimate decision, highlighting themes of identity, societal expectations, and the psychological pressures that can arise within domestic life. This poignant tale invites readers to reflect on the challenges of self-fulfillment in the context of family and societal norms.
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To Room Nineteen by Doris Lessing
First published: 1963
Type of plot: Psychological
Time of work: The 1950's and early 1960's
Locale: London, England
Principal Characters:
Susan Rawlings , a wife and motherMatthew Rawlings , her husband, a newspaper subeditorSophie Traub , their au pair
The Story
Susan and Matthew Rawlings are an intelligent, practical, and conventional married couple living in Richmond, a suburb of London. Their twelve-year marriage has produced four children and innumerable sensible decisions. The Rawlingses have a slightly superior attitude toward other couples who allow clichéd problems to disrupt their harmony. When Matthew, a subeditor at a large London newspaper, finally commits adultery, Susan understands and forgives.
Susan, an advertising artist before her marriage, looks forward to the moment when her youngest children, twins, begin school so that she will have some time to herself during the day. Her seemingly perfect family life, however, becomes increasingly insufficient for her, but she is resolved to avoid the typical responses to such inadequacy. She may find some meaning in work but will wait until the children, who need an attentive mother, are older.
Susan battles an increasing depression with her intelligence, trying to find comfort in the always sensible approach she and Matthew take to everything, telling herself she regrets nothing about her life. After the twins finally begin school, Susan finds herself afraid of her new freedom and hides from her depression in cooking, sewing, and other busywork. She is afraid to be alone in her garden, where her loneliness is most likely to manifest itself. Increasingly, she considers her obligations as wife and mother to be pressures that are driving her crazy. Confused by the new Susan whom she seems to have become, she is unable to communicate her fears to Matthew.
Craving privacy so that she can be her true self, Susan retreats to a spare room at the top of her house, but soon her children and Mrs. Parkes, her housekeeper, convert it into yet another family room. After her fears take seemingly human form as a devilish young man grinning wickedly at her from her garden, she takes a solitary walking tour in Wales, but her demon follows her.
After she convinces Matthew to hire an au pair to look after the children when they return home from school each day, Susan begins spending her days in London under the name Mrs. Jones, sitting peacefully in a shabby room in Fred's Hotel, doing nothing but luxuriating in perfect solitude. Room nineteen gives her the identity that her home life denies. Suspicious of her actions, Matthew hires a detective to follow her. Because he wants it to be so, she confesses to having an affair. Matthew admits his own relationship with a friend of theirs and wants the two couples to get together. Confused over how to substantiate her imaginary lover, empty at seeing how easily Sophie Traub, the au pair, fulfills the role of mother, depressed at losing the privacy of Fred's Hotel, Susan goes to room nineteen and turns on the gas.