Family Life in the White House

Overview

The lives and lifestyles of presidential families have changed considerably since the inauguration of George Washington in 1789. Through the years, traditions have evolved and family members have been forced to adopt a much more public presence. Much of this has been due to increased perception of the first family as public symbols and the increased role of the First Lady as an integral component of the official machinery of the White House. Nonetheless, the most significant influences on family life continue to be the individual dynamics of each first family and the degree of politicization allowed by the president and First Lady.

History

The families who have lived in the White House have been quite varied. Presidents have surrounded themselves with groups that have ranged from only immediate family members to extended circles including presidential parents, cousins, nieces, nephews, and assorted other relatives. Some presidents were widowers or, in the case of James Buchanan, a bachelor, and hence had to appeal to relatives to assume social duties. Other first couples were childless but brought either adopted children or grandchildren to live at the White House.

In spite of the differences through the years, several common trends emerged that have defined family life in the White House. First, most first families have been smaller than contemporary averages. While Anna Harrison had ten children, the average number of children in first families is just 3.5, and many first couples had only one child. James and Sarah Polk had no children; Warren and Florence Harding had no children together nor any who lived with them; and the bachelor James Buchanan was also childless. In addition, it should be noted that the children of Martha Washington and Dolley Madison came from previous marriages, and many first couples had adopted children. Even Buchanan was the legal guardian of his niece and nephew when he entered the White House. Second, since the average age of First Ladies upon entering the White House was forty-seven, it has been very common for the first family to include grandchildren. Thomas Jefferson had seven grandchildren living with him, including James Madison Randolph, who was the first of ten presidential grandchildren born in the Executive Mansion through the twentieth century. Third, although the First Lady has no formal constitutional function, tradition and practical utility have meant that many First Ladies have involved themselves deeply in politics as formal or informal advisers to their husbands or as advocates for various causes, including their husbands’ political fortunes. When both spouses have been politically involved, family life has been affected in a variety of ways, which range from lack of private time together to the unwanted politicization of private matters. Fourth, and finally, presidents have often turned to members of their extended family to serve in both social and official capacities in the White House. Buchanan and the widowers Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Martin Van Buren, and Chester A. Arthur all turned to relatives to fulfill the functions of First Lady. This often brought extended families into the White House. Likewise, Barack and Michelle Obama brought Michelle's mother, Marian Robinson, to the White House with them to assist with the raising of their daughters, Malia and Sasha.

The Public Side of Family Life

In many ways, the Washingtons were atypical of American first families and, as such, did not reflect later patterns. George and Martha Washington had no role models or guidelines to follow, so codes of conduct had to be invented or adopted from nonpolitical models. The Washingtons initially resisted interaction with the public and were perceived as aloof.

One pattern did emerge that would be consistent throughout later presidencies: the public’s fascination with the first family and the details of their lives. George and Martha had no children together, but Martha had two grandchildren, Nelly and George Custis, living with them. During Washington’s tenure and stay in the initial two national capitals, New York and Philadelphia, the press reported on the intricacies of the first family in great detail. Reporters followed the presidential grandchildren when they attended a circus or private functions.

The intrusiveness of the press was a problem with which successive first families have wrestled. Throughout the nineteenth century, presidents generally tried to prevent public discussion of the first families. Nonetheless, as family members often assumed official and unofficial posts in government, they were routinely the targets of press scrutiny. From Bartholomew Dandridge, the nephew of Martha Washington who served as a secretary and accountant for George, to Hillary Rodham Clinton’s role as adviser to her husband on health care, most presidents have employed family members in some capacity. The sons of John Quincy Adams, John Tyler, Martin Van Buren, Andrew Johnson, Ulysses S. Grant, Millard Fillmore, Rutherford B. Hayes, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Jimmy Carter all served as secretaries or aides for their fathers, while the daughters of Jefferson, James Monroe, Tyler, Zachary Taylor, Fillmore, Johnson, Benjamin Harrison, William Howard Taft, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Richard M. Nixon, and Gerald R. Ford served as hostesses or aides to the First Ladies. The 1978 “Bobby Kennedy Law” prevented presidents from formally hiring members of their family into government service, but family members continued to serve in unofficial or nongovernmental positions. For instance, the sons of Ford and George H. W. Bush served in their fathers’ reelection campaigns. Donald Trump was well known for including family members in positions of power during his administration. His daughter Ivanka Trump worked as an adviser to the president, while her husband, Jared Kushner, served as a senior White House adviser and campaign strategist. Trump's eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., was also a trusted adviser to his father, helping to shape his conservative views both in his business and political careers, though he did not hold a position in the White House.

While many first families have gone to great lengths to guard their privacy, others have actively sought public attention for a variety of reasons. In some cases, members of the first family have been used to bolster the political fortunes of the presidents. This has resulted in media and public access to the intimate life of those who have occupied the White House. For instance, anecdotes of Benjamin Harrison’s close relationship with his grandchildren were used to counter the popular perception that the president was stiff and reserved. For the first time in American history, the public was able to view photographs of the grandchildren in their private nursery and other aspects of family life. Grover Cleveland used his marriage to Frances Folsom to counter his image as a stodgy bachelor. Dwight Eisenhower also utilized his grandchildren in the 1952 election to bolster his grandfatherly image. Once he was in the White House, his grandchildren reinforced the image of the wholesome nature of the first family. Such themes were also prevalent during the administration of Joe Biden, who often surrounded himself with his grandchildren with whom he maintained close relationships. In fact, Biden's oldest grandchild, Naomi, lived with the elder Bidens in the White House for a time.

Through the years, First Ladies have also entered or been dragged into the public arena. Political or popular criticism of their husbands often led First Ladies to engage in efforts to defend or advance the interests of their husbands. In addition, criticism of First Ladies and first family members has been used as a mechanism to attack presidents. For instance, Elizabeth Monroe’s efforts to introduce more rigid protocol in the White House led to charges of “royalism” and “monarchy.” Mary Todd Lincoln was accused of Confederate sympathies because of her southern background. Melania Trump, who did not partake in many of the traditional roles of First Ladies in the White House, was criticized for being aloof and uninvolved. In addition, the alcoholism and drug use of two of the sons of John Quincy and Louisa Adams created public scandal, as did the behavior of Dolley Madison’s son, Payne, whom the press labeled the “American Prince” and who was known for his gambling and debts. Criticism of her family led First Lady Abigail Adams to openly support press censorship. Joe Biden's son Hunter came under the spotlight during Biden's presidential campaign when he was called out for his seemingly corrupt business dealings with Ukraine and his long struggles with addiction. Hunter continued to pose problems for the president during the preceding years amidst several scandals.

As newspapers became more common in the nineteenth century, so did coverage of presidential families and of life in the White House. In 1873, a serial began featuring a regular monthly column on life in the White House, and other magazines, such as Harper’s Weekly, began running photographs and cartoons of the first family. As media scrutiny intensified in the twentieth century, many presidents and their spouses went to great lengths to protect their families. Both Jacqueline Kennedy and Hillary Rodham Clinton endeavored with moderate success to protect their children from the intrusiveness of the press, even though other first family members actively sought the spotlight. On the other hand, Donald Trump notoriously sought the approval of the press, often making outrageous statements in the hopes of gaining more media attention.

The public duties of the first family have expanded through the years and reinforced the interplay with the media. Many family members have been involved directly in presidential campaigns, and their presence at the inauguration and other functions is routine. In addition to witnessing the oath of office, spouses have accompanied their husbands to the inaugural receptions, and since 1837, children of the first family have attended the inaugural balls. Furthermore, family members have been involved in the actual ceremony itself. For instance, Lady Bird Johnson initiated the practice of holding the Bible while her husband was administrated the oath of office. Other first families held receptions or intimate lunches for friends and extended family members immediately following the inauguration, distinct from the more formal receptions of that evening. Several presidents, including Grant, built stands so that the public could view the first family as part of the inaugural procession. The practice has now become routine, as first families stand with the new president to review the inaugural parade.

Appearances at public ceremonies and receptions compose the main duties of the first family. For instance, the first family appeared at the public receptions that were held at the White House until the 1930s to celebrate New Year’s Day and the Fourth of July. Since 1878, the public has been able to attend the annual White House Easter Egg Roll with the first family. The Tylers held Sunday concerts for the public, and until the 1890s, the South Lawn was open so that the public could view the first family in the gardens. Family members have also long attended diplomatic or other official receptions at the White House, and it has become common practice for presidents to have family members in attendance in addresses to the nation.

The Private Side of Family Life

Family life is constrained by the duality of the president’s home serving as both private residence and ceremonial residence of the head of state. This tension is reinforced by the egalitarian nature of American democracy and the fact that with only a few exceptions, the White House has remained open to the public. Early presidential families often had to contend with citizens entering the private areas of family quarters on the second floor. In order to protect their children from public scrutiny, the Clevelands and the Kennedys had private kindergartens established so that their children could interact with other toddlers away from public attention. Increased media examination of first families in the twentieth century further eroded the already fragile privacy afforded by the Executive Mansion.

Efforts to get away from the press and pressure of Washington, DC, led many first families to maintain unofficial residences for vacation purposes. The hot Washington summers contributed to the desirability of such places as escapes from the heat and humidity. Dozens of first families had regular second homes, which they retained during their years at the White House. These ranged from Peacefield in Quincy, Massachusetts, used by John Adams and John Quincy Adams, to Walker’s Point in Kennebunkport, Maine, used by the Bush family. Other notable homes were Theodore Roosevelt's Sagamore Hill near Oyster Bay, New York, and Ronald Reagan’s Rancho del Cielo in Santa Barbara, California. Franklin D. Roosevelt established a presidential retreat in Maryland, now called Camp David, as a more convenient vacation spot. Later presidents added stables, a golf course, a swimming pool, and tennis courts.

Various first families have also established winter vacation spots. The Hardings preferred Florida, as did later families including the Franklin Roosevelts, the Trumans, the Kennedys, and the Nixons. Donald Trump spent a great deal of time at his second home, Mar-a-Lago, in Palm Beach, Florida, during his presidency, often hosting meetings with international leaders there as well. Georgia was popular with the Eisenhowers and the Carters.

While the first family often attends diplomatic receptions and other official public functions, private celebrations such as birthdays or christenings have generally remained small family affairs. The main exception to this is the president’s birthday. Although Washington’s birthday was long marked by special ceremonies and eventually its designation as a federal holiday, modern presidential birthdays since Franklin Roosevelt’s tenure have become major events. These ceremonies have largely become politicized and exist now mainly as fundraisers or media events designed to engender public goodwill. Birthday parties for presidential spouses and children are traditionally small events, although there have been many notable exceptions.

The White House has also been witness to a variety of other family celebrations. There have been over a dozen christenings in the Executive Mansion. The presidential home was also the site of Susan Ford’s high school prom and numerous high school and college graduation parties. In 1812, Dolley Madison’s sister Lucy Payne was married to Supreme Court Justice Thomas Todd in the first of many White House weddings. In 1886, Cleveland became the only president to be married in the dwelling (both Tyler and Woodrow Wilson were married while in office, but not in the White House). In addition to the ceremonies that were actually held in the White House, other marriages of close family members have been celebrated by the incumbent president. In 1992, the first wedding was held at Camp David when Doro Bush LeBlond married Robert Koch. The Grants, Tafts, Hayeses, and Clintons celebrated their silver wedding anniversaries in the White House. In fact, the Tafts’ 1911 twenty-fifth anniversary party was one of the largest lawn parties in the history of the White House and included some eight thousand guests. Other prominent anniversaries included that of Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower in 1959, when the couple repeated their wedding vows.

In addition to the presidential funerals, family funerals in the White House have included those of First Ladies Letitia Tyler, Caroline Harrison, and Ellen Wilson; presidential sons William Lincoln and Calvin Coolidge, Jr.; Fred Dent, the father of Julia Grant; and John W. Scott, the father of Caroline Harrison. The support of family proved crucial during these difficult periods following the loss of a loved one. This has been especially true as presidents and First Ladies have coped with the loss of their own parents or children. The premature deaths of Rebecca Van Buren and Patrick Kennedy had tremendous and lasting impact on their respective parents. Several presidents were in office when they lost a parent, as were First Ladies. Nancy Reagan lost both her mother and stepfather. In the case of the Trumans and the Clintons, each spouse suffered the loss of a parent. Members of the first family provide the main social support system for the president, who must continue his duties and balance his personal grief with his responsibilities as the nation’s leader.

Successive presidents have gone to great lengths to accommodate and care for ill relatives. William McKinley’s devotion to his wife, who had epilepsy, led him to change White House protocol. When First Lady Betty Ford underwent surgery for breast cancer, President Gerald Ford publicly acknowledged his inability to concentrate on matters of state and described the period as the “low” point of his presidency. Conversely, various First Ladies, notably Edith Wilson, Mamie Eisenhower, and Nancy Reagan, emerged as fierce protectors of their husbands following illness or, in the case of Reagan, an assassination attempt.

Relationships and dating have always been problematic for presidential children. Many sons and daughters have chafed at both the lack of privacy and the behavioral pressures. From the many nieces and nephews of the Jacksons to the daughters of Wilson and Lyndon B. Johnson, the national media have consistently sought to publicize the private lives of the presidential children. Wilson’s daughter Nell’s engagement was front-page news after reporters obtained a love letter, and Allan Hoover complained that any time spent with female company resulted in false engagement stories. The lack of privacy led Buck Grant to study abroad, in Germany. One result of these pressures has been the tendency for many adult children to remain as far from Washington as possible.

Presidents and First Ladies have often gone to extreme lengths to keep their children well rounded and well grounded. Many parents have insisted that their children perform their own chores, such as making their beds or cleaning their rooms. Many children were asked to cook, or at least learn how to cook, their own meals. Calvin Coolidge, Jr., even worked as a fieldhand on a tobacco farm while his father was president. Barack Obama's daughter Sasha worked at a seafood restaurant on Martha's Vineyard, where the first family spent summer vacations during the Obama presidency.

Just as the White House is often the scene of joy and intimate celebration, it is also the site of great tragedy and loss. Since William Henry Harrison died in office in 1841, the White House has witnessed the funerals of several presidents, some of whom faced lingering illnesses or slow declines. James Garfield lingered for two months in 1881 after he was shot (in front of his older two sons). The Garfield family had just recovered from a scare caused by First Lady Lucretia Garfield’s bout with malaria, and they spent countless hours at the bedside of the president. First Lady Peggy Taylor was so distraught following the death of her husband that she initially refused to allow the body to be embalmed. Equally painful for his family was the gradual demise of Chester A. Arthur, who died shortly after leaving office. The only person to whom he confided about his terminal kidney illness was his son Alan. Woodrow Wilson’s family faced similar strains following his stroke. Of course, also traumatic to family members were the assassinations of Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy, burdening each family with the loss of husband and father and the resultant dislocation from the White House.

Family Roles and Activities

Each family also brings its own traditions and character to the White House. Historically, the most popular form of presidential entertainment was playing cards. Several presidents and First Ladies were voracious card players. In the twentieth century, Franklin Roosevelt, Truman, and Eisenhower were especially noted for their fondness of poker, while Ida McKinley was also renowned for her affinity for euchre. Fishing has also been a common pastime that brings together first families. John Adams added a billiards table to the White House so that he and his sons could play. Many first families routinely attended the opera or theater. The well-known musical predilection of the Nixons led the American recording industry to donate some two thousand albums and state-of-the-art stereo equipment to the White House. The advent of film and television affected the first families with the same force as the general public. Theodore Roosevelt was the first president to screen films in the White House, but Warren G. Harding had the first real theater built within the dwelling. Since the time of the Trumans, presidential families have also watched television, often together. Both the Eisenhowers and the Reagans often had late meals in their bedrooms while watching television. Trump was known to watch cable news, in particular, into the wee hours of the night.

More rigorous pastimes have included horseback riding and tennis. Golf and bicycling emerged in the twentieth century as favorite activities. Both Roosevelt families and the Kennedys fancied sailing. Many presidents regularly went hunting with their sons, and both Calvin and Grace Coolidge enjoyed the sport. Jogging has also become a popular physical activity among modern presidents. Jimmy Carter often went running with his wife and son Chip, and both Bill Clinton and George W. Bush took part in such activity. Many First Ladies enjoyed gardening with their family. For most of the history of the White House, there were greenhouses and gardens on the present site of the West Wing. After the 1902 renovation, the main gardens were located on the south grounds. Michelle Obama kept a vegetable garden on the South Lawn.

Each of the first families has added to, redecorated, or renovated the White House in efforts to make the residence more comfortable and suited to their individual tastes. Additions through the years that were specifically geared toward the first family have included the small schoolroom built for the Hayes children. Seldom was the White House as dynamic as during the tenure of Theodore Roosevelt. The Roosevelt family brought an unparalleled zest and energy to the mansion. They established a zoo, including a bear, and the children engaged in a variety of mischief, often sliding down the staircases on dining trays. During the 1902 renovation of the White House, Theodore Roosevelt had the large staircase in the west hall removed, and the room became the main place for the family to meet and relax. He also added tennis courts. Ford had an outdoor pool installed, and the Clintons added an exercise room in the bedroom suites. A bowling alley was built for President Truman in 1947. Barack Obama adapted the White House tennis court so that it could also serve as a full-court basketball court during his administration. A less formal structure was Amy Carter’s tree house.

Significance

One of the most important contributions of first families has been their impact on maintaining the mental health and well-being of the president. Although family members have periodically caused embarrassments and even scandal, in general their support and comfort to presidents have far outweighed their negative effects. During times of crisis, the first family is inevitably the main source of strength and cheer.

Martin Van Buren was a widower by the time he became president, but his four adult sons lived in the White House and were his closest advisers. Other presidents, including Fillmore and James Garfield, also relied heavily on their sons for emotional support. Andrew Jackson was lavish with his attention and gifts to Mary Donelson, his great-niece, and to Rachel Jackson, an adoptive granddaughter. In the midst of the Civil War, Tad Lincoln often brought amusement to his father through such antics as firing at the closed door of cabinet meetings with a toy cannon. During the trying days of the Vietnam War and the end of his second term, Lyndon B. Johnson found solace in his grandson Patrick Lyndon Nugent. Playing with the child proved to be a highly effective stress release for the president. Barack Obama, whose daughters were very young when he began his presidency, has stated that being able to raise his girls while in the White House was very grounding for him during his presidency.

Family life in the White House closely resembles family life elsewhere. There are triumphs and tragedies and families both close and estranged. The political and media pressure often draw the families closer together, although many family members have withered under the constant strain. Each first couple continues to exert the greatest influence over family life. The enduring importance of the first family remains its potential as a social support network and source of comfort for the president.

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