Emotional abuse
Emotional abuse is a form of non-physical violence characterized by manipulative and controlling behaviors that cause psychological distress to the victim. It can manifest through verbal actions such as insults, humiliation, and intimidation, often aimed at asserting dominance over the victim. This abuse may occur alongside other types of abuse or stand alone, affecting primarily those who may feel vulnerable or powerless in their relationships. Victims of emotional abuse often experience feelings of worthlessness, fear, and isolation, as abusers strategically manipulate their environments and relationships to maintain control. The dynamics of emotional abuse can follow a cyclical pattern, including phases of tension-building, violence, and a temporary honeymoon phase, complicating the victim's decision to leave. While emotional abuse can affect individuals of any gender, research indicates that women are more commonly reported as victims. The long-term effects of emotional abuse can lead to severe mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. Effective treatment and prevention strategies may involve counseling and community support, emphasizing the importance of safety and intervention in breaking the cycle of abuse.
Emotional abuse
Type of psychology: Clinical; Counseling; Developmental; Psychopathology; Psychotherapy
All abuse is about power and control, and the abuser uses tactics to exert power and control over his or her victims. Emotional abuse is any kind of non-physical abuse imposed from one person to another. Victims of emotional abuse are subjected to repeated threats, manipulation, intimidation, and isolation that cause them to feel anxiety, fear, self-blame, and worthlessness. They can become convinced that no one else cares or wants them. Frequently they stay in abusive situations because they believe they have nowhere else to go. In contrast to physical violence, emotional violence is not easily identified because it is not readily evident. Emotional abuse can sometimes predict physical violence.
Introduction
Emotional abuse is a form of interpersonal violence that encompasses all forms of non-physical violence and distress caused through non-verbal and verbal actions. Emotional abuse is deliberate and manipulative and is a method of control. It often occurs in conjunction with other types of abuse, but it may also occur in isolation. Like other types of abuse, emotional abuse most often affects those with the least power and resources.
Emotional abusers have a need to dominate and feel in charge of their victims. Threatening or coercive tactics like intimidation, humiliation, harassment, embarrassment, social isolation, verbal assaults, insults, threats, financial control, work restrictions, and disregard for victims' needs are all means to exert power and control over them.
Occasional abusive behavior does not intimate an abusive relationship, but the frequency and duration of emotional abuse episodes and the actions that lead up to emotional abuse determine if it is an ongoing pattern of abuse. Whether obvious or subtle, emotional abuse eventually results in victims feeling powerless, hurt, angry, worthless, and afraid.
Abusers choose who they will abuse. They do not threaten or abuse everyone; they abuse those closest to them. Abusers choose when to abuse. It is planned. In public, abusers may do well keeping themselves in control. Their outbursts of abusive behavior are conserved for private altercations. Abuse is not a random act of loss of control; abusers can and do stop when it is to their benefit.
Emotional abusers often struggle with the same emotions as their victims. Frequently, abusers were victims of emotional abuse that caused them to feel the same sense of powerlessness, hurt, fear, and anger. Consequently, offenders generally seek people who are helpless or who do not acknowledge their own feelings, perceptions, or viewpoints, which then allows abusers to feel securely in control of their victims.
Tactics of emotional abuse ensure abusers maintain control of their victims. Such tactics include the following: isolation from family and friends that increases victims' dependence on their abuser; threats of personal harm, harm to loved ones, or self-harm that keep victims fearful to leave; intimidation with acts of aggression like destroying personal property, facial and physical gestures, harming pets, or displaying weapons that insinuate violent repercussions to make victims conform to the wishes of their abuser; and humiliation, verbal criticism, name-calling, shaming, and public insults that destroy self-esteem and leave victims powerless and controlled.
Eventually, victims of emotional abuse lose all sense of self. Emotional abuse is often longer lasting than physical abuse because it is a gradual destruction of victims' confidence and sense of self-worth. Victims may be fearful to talk to anyone about the abuse because they have been convinced by their abuser that no one will believe them or they are threatened with severe consequences if they do. Though physical injuries mend over time, emotional injuries can affect victims for a lifetime.
Victims' perceptions of their situation become unrealistic. They may not acknowledge or recognize the emotional abuse, and they develop coping mechanisms like denial and minimization of their abuse as means to accommodate for it. Victims' reports of emotional abuse reveal that their abusers controlled the company they kept, where they went, when they made family contact. They also threatened to take their children. Women, especially, reported that they were made to feel ashamed, belittled, or humiliated by their abuser.
Emotional abuse, like other forms of abuse, occurs in cycles. There are three phases in the cycle of violence: phase I, tension-building phase; phase II, violence phase; and phase III, honeymoon phase. Over time the cycle of violence may change as the honeymoon phase shortens, and the tension and violence phases increase. A decision to leave an abusive situation takes time and even repeated episodes of abuse before victims can leave. The amount of time depends on a victim's insecurities and concerns for others in the immediate environment who may feel the repercussions of a victim's leaving.
Phase I, or the tension-building phase, is when the abuser is extremely demanding, critical and moody, becomes more controlling, and makes threats. Money issues, children, or work are common triggers. The victim minimizes the problem in an effort to control the situation, withdraws as tension builds, and may attempt to pacify the abuser by giving in. As the tension intensifies, the victim has less and less control or ability to mollify the situation as it transitions into phase II.
Phase II, or the violence phase, finds the abuser spiraling out of control as he or she feels control over the victim dwindling. The abuser's threats increase, tension peaks, and physical or extreme emotional abuse follows. The violent incident is unpredictable, because it is not the victim's behavior that triggers it. It is usually triggered by an external event or the abuser's emotional state of mind. The abuser blames the victim for making “it” happen. The victim has lost control altogether and is helpless during this escalation. Sometimes victims instigate phase II to “get it over with” so they gain some control again.
Phase III, or the honeymoon phase, brings about a transformation in the abuser who is now remorseful, apologetic, and showers the victim with attention, expressions of love, and promises that “it” will never happen again as he or she manipulates the victim into forgiveness and draws the victim back into the relationship. Though confused, the victim often feels guilty and responsible for the incident, minimizes it, and forgives the abuser.
Risk Factors
Research regarding risk factors for emotional abuse is limited. Some general, identified risk factors for emotional abuse include lower socioeconomic status, anger, fear, physical or mental disability, dependence, authoritarianism, low self-esteem, personality disorders, marital conflict, isolation, substance abuse, cognitive decline, and discrepancies between partners' education and occupation levels.
Risk factors for being an abuser include having problems controlling temper, extreme jealousy, fear of abandonment, history of being abused, unrealistic expectations of relationship, antisocial personality, risk-taking personality, irresponsibility for own actions, animal cruelty, threats of violence, low self-esteem, relationship codependence, compulsiveness, substance abuse, personality disorder, and power and control issues.
Risk factors for being a victim of abuse include having low self-esteem, intense need for affection, history of being abused, substance abuser parents, codependence, depression, isolation, substance abuse, difficulty expressing emotions, validation of self through relationship, and selflessness. The majority of identified victims are women; however, men have been emotionally abused in both domestic and institutional settings.
Signs and Symptoms
Generally, people who are in abusive relationships are afraid or fearful of their partners, conform to whatever their partners want, let their partners know their every move, are contacted frequently by their partners when they are out with them, comment on their partners jealousy and temper, have imposed restrictions regarding contact with family and friends, have restricted access to transportation and money, experience very low self-esteem, and are withdrawn, depressed, anxious, or suicidal.
Emotionally abused children frequently have compromised psychological, social, and moral development, are usually aggressive, exhibit antisocial behaviors, act older than their age, are unhappy, frightened and distressed, are low achievers, frequently miss school, have poor academic performance, experience difficulty making friends, have impaired ability to feel and express emotions, show signs of physical neglect, and may complain of vague physical symptoms.
Adults who were emotionally abused as children are more likely to have difficulty establishing relationships, misinterpret social cues and others behaviors, and experience mental health problems.
Abusers humiliate, chastise, publicly mock, demean opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs of their victims, trivialize victims' successes and accomplishments, control finances and how money is spent, stress mistakes victims may make, show no empathy for their victims, deny or blame victims for their abusive behaviors, problems, and difficulties, believe they are never wrong, are intolerant of perceived lack of respect, and use manipulative or threatening tactics (sulk, withdraw, body language, facial expressions, play victim) to punish victims or force them to comply.
Consequences
Emotional abuse not only can result in psychological issues, but it can also cause physical issues like frequent headaches or back, leg, and stomach problems. Long-term emotional abuse can lead to depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and difficulties in interpersonal relationships.
Treatment and Prevention
Without intervention, frequency and severity of abuse usually increase over time. Treatment depends on the dynamics of the abuse. Abuse resulting from family dysfunction may benefit from access to appropriate community services like nurse and social worker home visits to provide help to change behaviors or prevent abuse in high-risk families.
Abuse resulting from mental illness, substance abuse, or physical disabilities may benefit from social services and professional mental health interventions. Separating victims and their abusers may be necessary to secure victims' safety and well-being. Leaving the environment is essential if there is any indication that abuse is escalating or physical violence may follow. Counseling for both abusers and victims of abuse can provide channels for discussion and mitigating solutions to end the cycle of violence.
Leaving an abusive relationship can be difficult and dangerous. Having a place to go for protection, help, and support is important. Usually such places are with family or friends. However, if they are not available, then local shelters or other organizations that provide assistance for safely leaving an abusive relationship should be sought. For emergency situations resources include the following, which are staffed twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and are toll-free:
911 for all emergencies
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233); Deaf/hard of hearing: 1-855-812-1011 (VP), 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
Bibliography
Baker, Amy J. L., and Mel Schneiderman. Bonded to the Abuser: How Victims Make Sense of Childhood Abuse. Lanham: Rowman, 2015. Print.
Capuzzi, David, and Mark D. Stauffer. Foundations of Couples, Marriage, and Family Counseling. Hoboken: Wiley, 2015. Print.
Childhelp National Abuse Hotline, www.childhelp.org/hotline/. Accessed 27 Sept. 2018.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline, www.thehotline.org. Accessed 27 Sept. 2018.
O'Hagen, K. Identifying Emotional and Psychological Abuse: A Guide For Childcare Professionals. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2006. Print.
Royse, David. Emotional Abuse of Children: Essential Information. New York: Routledge, 2016. Print.
Testa, A. The Bully In Your Relationship: Stop Emotional Abuse and Get The Love You Deserve. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2007. Print.