Father-child relationship

• TYPE OF PSYCHOLOGY: Developmental psychology

Father-child relationships have increasingly been the subject of studies, and fathers have become well documented as major influences on children’s development. In general, there are more similarities than differences between fathers and mothers with regard to what constitutes good parenting and the factors that promote positive relationships with children. Fathers who show warmth, nurturance, and age-appropriate structure tend to have children who are well-adjusted.

Introduction

Cultural conceptions of fatherhood changed and expanded in the last part of the twentieth century, as the role of the father shifted from a distant or peripheral figure to a central and important presence in children’s lives. According to the US Census Bureau, about 65 percent of children under the age of eighteen lived with two married parents in 2022. An additional 22 percent lived within families with a mother only, and 5 percent were raised by single fathers. Given that the majority of children have a father or father figure in their lives, the father-child relationship is important to examine.

Substantial progress has been made in the field, with increasing attention paid to understanding fatherhood and the factors related to a father’s being involved in his children’s lives. At the same time, fewer studies have examined father-child relationships compared with mother-child relationships, and less is known about variations in fathering across cultures and across ethnic groups within the United States. Moreover, research on paternal influences on children or father-child relationships has focused more on normal developmental processes than on abnormal developmental processes. In the twenty-first century, however, research related to diverse family structures increased, producing important insights into how different contexts affect father-child relationships.

Normal Development

Experts agree that fathers make an important contribution to children’s development. Although the quantity of fathers’ involvement and the style of their interactions with children differ from mothers’ involvement with children, the processes involved in positive father-child relationships closely resemble those in positive mother-child relationships.

Studies have shown that involvement of fathers, particularly among dual-career couples, has been increasing gradually. Overall, fathers still spend less time with children than mothers do, and this pattern is evident regardless of the age of the child and regardless of the way that involvement is defined (for example, direct time spent in face-to-face interactions, availability or accessibility to the child, responsibility for the child, or managing family tasks). Also, fathers spend more time with their infants and toddlers than with their older children and adolescents. Although cultural images may portray fathers as avoiding infants and getting more involved with children when they are old enough to participate in shared interests such as sports, a number of studies have documented that fathers’ time with children tends to be greatest during infancy and decreases with age. These patterns are also found with mothers and reflect the amount of direct caretaking that is required for infants and young children, needs that decrease over time as children become more independent and self-sufficient, and spend more time outside the home.

Research has also documented some stylistic differences in the ways fathers and mothers interact with their children. In particular, fathers in the United States spend a greater proportion of their time with children in play activities and engage in more tactile, physically stimulating play than mothers do. Mothers tend to engage in more toy-mediated play, role-play, and verbal, didactic play (such as storytelling) than fathers do. This difference is neither good nor bad.

Interestingly, although the amount of time spent with children can affect father-child relationships, it does not appear to be as important as the quality of the time that is spent with children. That is, if a father (or mother) spends large amounts of time with the child but is not sufficiently engaged with the child (for example, they are on the phone or responding to e-mail during much of the time), then the child is less likely to benefit than a child who experiences slightly less but higher quality time with parents (for example, full attention and positive engagement during parent-child interactions). Therefore, it is important for both fathers and mothers to reflect on the quality of the time they spend with their children rather than just the quantity.

Similarly, the lower level of involvement of fathers does not imply that fathers are less competent than mothers in parenting. Overall, the evidence suggests that fathers are equally capable of caring for children and children are equally likely to form secure attachment relationships with them. Indeed, the factors that constitute good parenting and contribute to positive relationships with children are the same regardless of the parent’s gender. Specifically, authoritative parenting in both fathers and mothers is associated with healthy outcomes for children. Authoritative parenting is characterized by parents who set clear and consistent guidelines, structure, and standards for children’s behavior, while also being warm and supportive. Their expectations for their child are reasonable and age-appropriate, monitoring their behavior but granting and encouraging increased autonomy as the child matures. They are nurturing, caring, and responsive, and their relationships with their children are marked by open communication, acceptance, and affection. Children tend to show the best emotional and behavioral functioning in the context of this parenting style.

Fathers and Cultural Variation

It is important to keep in mind that much of the research on fathers and father-child relationships was based primarily on White, American, middle-class, two-parent families in the twentieth century. Therefore, it remains unclear whether these patterns can be generalized across cultures and ethnic groups. Some cross-cultural research, for example, indicates that fathers in Taiwan, India, Thailand, and the Aka Pygmies of Africa rarely engage in physical play with children, suggesting that mother-father differences in play styles may be culture-bound. Fathers in Japan, China, and South Korea are less likely to display an authoritative parenting style and spend less time with children than fathers in Western cultures, yet the majority of children in these cultures report close relationships with their fathers. The dearth of comparative studies leaves many questions about cultural variation in fathering yet unanswered.

Demographic changes in the United States have also fueled interest in variations across racial and ethnic groups within the nation, as the population becomes increasingly diverse. Census reports in the United States have identified significant differences between the family compositions of White children and children of color. In 2022, some 75 percent of White children under the age of eighteen lived with two married parents, while 60 percent of Hispanic children and only 38 percent of Black children lived in households with two married parents. Similarly, children raised by primary-caregiving fathers, single fathers, stepfathers, and gay fathers have increased in the twenty-first century, and research has increasingly focused on how these different contexts affect father-child relationships.

Abnormal Development

In general, the father-child relationship is at risk when the father, the child, or both exhibit elevated levels of psychological symptoms or dysfunction. Parental psychological dysfunction tends to be reliably correlated with child adjustment problems, and there is evidence for intergenerational influence on many types of psychopathology. At the same time, it is important to note that research on fathers and children with psychological problems is much more limited than that of normal father-child relationships, and most researchers point to a complex interaction of biological, parenting, and sociocultural factors in explaining abnormal development.

Research that examines the adjustment of children of psychologically distressed fathers has produced a relatively consistent set of findings. Regardless of the type of psychological disturbance the father is experiencing (whether it is depression, substance abuse, or schizophrenia), children of psychologically distressed fathers tend to have poorer outcomes than do children of psychologically healthy fathers. However, the specific outcomes for these children may vary. Sometimes the children exhibit the same problems as their fathers (for example, a child whose father has a depressive disorder may also exhibit problems with depression), while other children may display a different set of problems from those of their fathers (for example, a child of an alcoholic father may show severe conduct problems). These problems are exacerbated by, or may come by way of, impaired parenting demonstrated by fathers with psychological problems. For example, depressed fathers are often unable to properly supervise children, may withdraw, or become more coercive and discipline children ineffectively, thereby putting children at risk for maladjustment. Moreover, research indicates that children of parents with psychological distress tend to experience multiple risk factors, and each risk factor may present an additive effect. In other words, children’s risk for maladjustment becomes magnified when, in addition to parental psychopathology, there are other risk factors in the child’s life, such as interparental conflict, poverty, abuse, or neglect.

A related line of research compares fathers of psychologically distressed children with fathers of psychologically healthy children. Less clear patterns have emerged using this approach, depending on the specific disorder that the child is experiencing. For example, although fathers of children with severe conduct problems tend to show significantly higher rates of psychopathology than fathers of well-functioning children, there tend to be few meaningful differences between fathers of children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and fathers of children without ADHD.

Taken together, the relationship between fathers and children’s psychological distress is evident, and the processes involved are complex and multifaceted. There are clear linkages between troubled fathers and troubled children for some psychological problems, and the linkages are strengthened when children are exposed to other risk factors such as interparental conflict and poverty. However, given that the relationship may not be as clear-cut for other psychological problems, more research is needed to help elucidate the interrelations and processes at play.

Fathers and Treatment

Parents are not always included in treatment or therapy for children’s maladjustment, and fathers are much less likely to be included than mothers are. This gendered pattern is found to be consistent regardless of family constellation and the age of the child. Some attribute this finding to mothers taking on greater responsibility for their children overall and being more proactive about getting involved when their children experience troubles. Other researchers point out that in many cases, mothers are the only ones invited to therapy, exposing a tendency among both professionals and nonprofessionals to blame mothers rather than fathers for children’s emotional and behavioral problems and, at the same time, privilege mothers over fathers in their ability to help children. This pattern is less salient for therapists and counselors who have received extensive family therapy training and those who value equality within the family.

Some evidence suggests that better long-term effects can be achieved when fathers are included in children’s treatment or therapy. Studies of children with externalizing disorders or conduct problems, for example, find that when both fathers and mothers (versus mothers alone) are involved in behavioral parent training, children show significant maintenance of treatment gains. Noticeable increases can be found in the healthy communication patterns between the parents when fathers are involved in treatment. This may help decrease interparental conflict (such as arguing and fighting) that might be exacerbating the child’s problems. Other studies have found that behavioral parent training is effective in helping decrease oppositional or conduct problems in children regardless of whether it is the father or the mother who is involved in treatment. Therefore, although there is general empirical support to encourage the inclusion of fathers in treatment, it is likely that the effectiveness of father involvement may depend on the particular familial context and a variety of other interrelated factors, including the type and severity of the presenting problem, the type of therapy, and the dynamics of the parties involved.

In summary, fathers matter. Children can benefit from positive relationships with fathers, just as they benefit from positive mother-child relationships. Although there may be some interesting differences between fathers and mothers, the similarities are more prevalent. Providing children with ample love, warmth, and quality time, as well as maintaining an authoritative parenting style, contributes to the well-being of young children, older children, and adolescents alike. Still, the field of studying fatherhood is relatively young, and more research is needed to better understand the diversity in fathering and father-child relationships.

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