On Account of a Hat by Sholom Aleichem

First published: "Iber a Hitl," 1913 (English translation, 1953)

Type of plot: Wit and humor

Time of work: The late 1800's

Locale: Kasrilevke and Zlodievka

Principal Characters:

• The narrator, a nameless scrap-paper merchant of Kasrilevke
• Sholom Shachnah Rattlebrain, a Kasrilevke real-estate broker and the story's protagonist
• Sholom Aleichem, the listener-recorder of the narrator's story and the primary narrator, an author

The Story

The story's opening introduces its multilayered narrative structure and the principal characters, particularly Sholom Shachnah Rattlebrain, about whom the (secondary) narrator weaves his fantastic and amusing tale regarding absentmindedness, all the while interrupting himself with amusing observations and comical asides. Prior to unfolding this narrator's yarn, Sholom Aleichem expresses his own doubts about its veracity, thus implicitly shifting to that merchant-narrator any blame for telling a tall tale and expecting the reader to accept it as real.

The merchant-narrator chooses to illustrate the notion of absentmindedness (raised in some unexplained context in his conversation with Sholom Aleichem) by recounting what befell Sholom Shachnah, Kasrilevke's rattlebrain, some time ago before the Passover festival. (The narrator and Sholom Aleichem are in a hurry themselves as they, too, prepare for the upcoming Passover.)

This Sholom Shachnah, a poor Jew and something of a real-estate broker, likes to brag about the company he keeps with wealthy landowners, but he can barely eke out a living for himself and his family. Finally, with God's help, he takes part in an actual real-estate transaction. As soon becomes apparent, though, his share of the profits is jeopardized by some wealthy Jewish brokers of another province who have managed the transaction and are now threatening to cut him out of the commission. Standing up bravely against his adversaries, he finally receives his share, sending most of it back home (the deal is apparently conducted outside Kasrilevke) to defray expenses for the upcoming Passover celebration, pay off some debts, and provide for the children's needs. Sholom Shachnah also keeps some money for his expenses and for gifts for the family.

Just before the onset of Passover, Sholom Shachnah telegraphs home that he will be "arriving home Passover without fail." The only obstacle blocking his journey home turns out to be the time-consuming train ride, whose greatest difficulty is the critical transfer to the Kasrilevke train at the Zlodievka stop, where one must arrive before the Kasrilevke train's departure and spend many late-night hours awaiting its arrival.

Arriving at the Zlodievka stop on the night before Passover, Sholom Shachnah prepares to spend those hours resting (he has not slept for the past two nights). Noticing the dirty floor and walls, he finds that the only possible place to take a rest is on a small spot on a bench left empty by a stretched-out, sleeping Gentile official bedecked with an important-looking hat and button-emblazoned uniform.

Convinced that the sleeping stranger must be an important officer, Sholom Shachnah nevertheless bravely occupies the narrow vacant spot on the bench. Being afraid of falling asleep and missing the sole Kasrilevke train before the Passover, he pays the Gentile peasant porter Yeremei to awaken him on time. Now, assured of not missing his train, Sholom Shachnah sits down and promptly falls asleep, his hat rolling off his head.

In his sleep, Sholom Shachnah dreams of riding home in a slow, horse-drawn wagon. Being in a hurry to arrive before the Passover, he urges—to no avail—the peasant driver Ivan to speed up. When, suddenly, the driver hurries his horses, Sholom Shachnah loses his hat and begins to worry about entering town bareheaded. When the wagon stops suddenly, Ivan asks Sholom Shachnah to get up, his voice mingling with that of Yeremei, the peasant porter, who is trying to awaken the sleeping broker.

Finally awake, Sholom Shachnah hurries to pick up his fallen hat, inadvertently putting on the fallen officer's hat instead. Now he runs to purchase his ticket and notices how the great crowd at the ticket window parts before him as if by magic and the agent—respectful of the hat—most politely serves his customer. Sholom Shachnah suspects that the agent is mocking him but decides that, as a Jew in the Diaspora, he had better not make an issue of such behavior.

Sholom Shachnah is again irritated as the crowds part and people give way as he searches for the third-class car. The conductor, explaining that the car is too full, politely escorts him (and his red-banded, visored hat) to a seat in the first-class compartment.

Still confused, Sholom Shachnah thinks the honors may be because of the recent closing of that real-estate deal he managed. Glancing into a nearby mirror, however, he notices the official hat and, angry with the peasant porter, concludes that the latter did not awaken him (Sholom Shachnah, that is) but the officer. Therefore he (Sholom Shachnah, that is) must be still asleep on the bench, doomed to spend the Passover away from home. Deciding to avert such a mishap, Sholom Shachnah leaps out of the car and runs to wake himself up, as the train pulls out of the station.

Sholom Shachnah's Passover, continues the merchant-narrator, was less than pleasant, spent at a Jewish home in Zlodievka. His wife, on his return, gives him "a royal welcome," angry, it turns out, not at his having to celebrate the Passover away from home, nor for the unusual hat on his head, but, amazingly, at the excessively long telegram he sent her, and particularly at the words "without fail," as if trying to make the telegraph company richer or, as though he were God, presuming to know the future by such a certain promise. The folks in Kasrilevke, too, have their say as they—men, women, and children—endlessly taunt him about his hat, his "official" status, and his absentmindedness.