The Desire to Be a Man by Auguste de Villiers d L'Isle Adam
"The Desire to Be a Man" by Auguste de Villiers d'Isle Adam is a poignant exploration of the human condition, particularly the quest for genuine emotion and identity. Set against the backdrop of post-war Paris in 1871, the narrative follows the character Esprit Chaudval, a fading actor who grapples with the inevitability of aging and the end of his theatrical career. As Chaudval confronts his reflection in a mirror, he is struck by the realization of his own mortality and the emptiness of his past performances, which lacked real emotional experience.
In a desperate attempt to connect with his humanity, Chaudval resolves that to truly "become a man," he must experience profound remorse, leading him to commit a horrifying act of arson. However, after carrying out his plan, he is met with an unexpected emotional vacancy, failing to achieve the remorse he sought. This journey culminates in a tragic irony, where Chaudval, instead of finding redemption, ultimately becomes a ghost of his former self.
The story delves into themes of regret, the search for authenticity, and the often-painful transition from a life of artifice to one of sincerity. It raises compelling questions about the nature of true emotion and what it means to be human, making it a significant reflection on the complexities of existence and identity.
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The Desire to Be a Man by Auguste de Villiers d L'Isle Adam
First published: "Le Désir d'être un homme," 1883 (English translation, 1927)
Type of plot: Horror
Time of work: Fall, 1871
Locale: Paris and the Brittany coast of France
Principal Character:
Esprit Chaudval , an aging actor, specializing in tragic roles
The Story
It is midnight in Paris's Grand Boulevard district on a windy Sunday in October, 1871. Because the city is still under martial law, the cafés and restaurants of that quarter are bustling to meet the curfew, ushering out their few remaining patrons and preparing to close their doors. The menacing gaze of two police officers encourages their haste. The surrounding streets are rapidly emptying of coaches and pedestrians for the same reason. Into this scene of hasty departures, there wanders a tall, sad-faced arrival, dressed in the style of the previous century and moving as though he were walking in his sleep. Oblivious to the bustle around him, the man stops before a tall, thin mirror, which decorates the exterior of an elegant café, and examines himself closely. After this solemn inspection, he ceremoniously removes his hat and bows politely to himself in the old-fashioned pre-Revolutionary manner. Now bareheaded, the man can be readily recognized as the illustrious tragedian Esprit Chaudval, whose real name is Lepeinteur, and whom everyone calls Monanteuil.
Seeming shocked, Chaudval continues to stare at himself in the mirror while all around him silence reigns, for everyone else has gone, and he is alone. What has shocked him is that his hair, salt and pepper only yesterday, is now the color of moonlight. In the mirror he has caught a glimpse of himself growing old. This spectacle sets off in the actor a host of memories and reflections about the sad necessity that faces him: to retire from the stage and give up the pleasures of the theatrical life that he has so long relished. He recalls his recent decision to retire to the Brittany lighthouse that his father before him had tended. He has already requested this government appointment, and, in fact, has the letter of appointment in his pocket but has forgotten about it. Chaudval now reminds himself that his fundamental desire in retirement is to be a man! For most of his life, he has portrayed the passions and emotions felt by others but has himself never experienced a real emotion. Real emotion is, after all, what makes one a genuine human being, Chaudval reasons. Because age is forcing him to leave the stage and return to humanity, Chaudval resolves that he must acquire passions, some real human feeling that best suits his nature. Rejecting love, glory, and ambition as no longer in season for him, Chaudval is led by his "dramatic temperament" to choose the emotion that is right for him: remorse. He recalls characters whom he has portrayed on the stage, such as Nero, Macbeth, and Hamlet, who experience remorse—whose remorse takes the form of a conscience haunted by ghosts. He decides he must do something horrifying enough to make him see ghosts as well—something spectacularly atrocious. With excited satisfaction, he hits on the idea of setting a fire.
Pleased with this carefully reasoned solution to the problem of becoming a man, Chaudval suddenly picks up a paving stone, smashes the offending mirror, and dashes off into the night. Shortly thereafter, a major conflagration breaks out in Chaudval's quarter of Paris in which nearly a hundred people die. Chaudval watches the fire from a coach, in which he has placed all of his belongings. In the morning, he leaves for Brittany.
The ruin of a lighthouse, now his home, preoccupies Chaudval at first, and he forgets about his incendiary crime. However, after reading an account of the event in a Paris newspaper, he experiences a surge of joyous triumph and awaits his reward: a conscience wracked by remorse. To his astonishment, nothing happens. He feels no pangs of conscience, no ghosts, no feeling of any kind. In a fever of despair and shame, he suffers a cerebral hemorrhage and, in his death agony, demands that God show him at least one ghost because he has earned it. His prayer unanswered, Chaudval dies without realizing that he himself had become what he was seeking: a ghost.