Finding Natasha by Madison Smartt Bell
"Finding Natasha" by Madison Smartt Bell follows Stuart, a man in recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction, as he returns to Brooklyn after a two-year absence. Upon his return, he seeks to reconnect with his past, particularly with Natasha, a woman who has been absent from his life and whose fate has become uncertain. The narrative unfolds as Stuart revisits familiar haunts, including his old bar, Henry's, and encounters former friends and acquaintances who have moved on with their lives. Despite the changes around him, Stuart feels an inexplicable pull towards Natasha, which he struggles to articulate.
As he navigates the streets of New York, he learns of Natasha's possible descent into prostitution and becomes increasingly obsessed with finding her. His journey reflects themes of survival, connection, and the haunting nature of addiction, as he grapples with feelings of responsibility for those he has lost. Ultimately, the story culminates in a poignant moment when Stuart finally locates Natasha, who is deeply affected by her own struggles. The narrative captures the complexities of human relationships in the midst of addiction and recovery, compelling readers to reflect on the ties that bind individuals to one another amidst chaos and change.
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Finding Natasha by Madison Smartt Bell
First published: 1989
Type of plot: Psychological
Time of work: The 1980's
Locale: New York City
Principal Characters:
Stuart , a recovering alcoholic and drug addictNatasha , a prostitute and drug addictClifton , a drug dealerArthur , a bartender
The Story
Stuart, a recovering alcoholic and drug addict who has been undergoing treatment at Millbrook in upstate New York, returns to his favorite bar, Henry's, in Brooklyn. The place has been renovated; the former owners, Henry and Isabel, have retired; and Arthur is behind the bar. At first, Arthur does not remember Stuart, but eventually he recognizes him, as does Clifton, a former acquaintance who used to supply drugs to Stuart and his friends. All of Stuart's old friends have moved on: Henry and Isabel have moved out of the city, Ricky has moved to Greenpoint, Rita has reportedly moved to Los Angeles, and nobody has seen Natasha.
Stuart returned to the city a week earlier, after having been away for two years. He did not know why he was returning, or what he was seeking to recover, and felt that he should have stayed away forever, but something drew him back to his old haunts. Living in a cheap room in Times Square, Stuart drifts from bar to bar, street corner to street corner, hoping to run into Natasha. Why Natasha? He had closer friends than Natasha, and she had never answered the letters he had written to her from Millbrook. Stuart was not exactly looking for her either. He merely expects to run into her; he believes that she will simply appear.
Rita, Stuart discovers, did not go to Los Angeles after all. She is in Bellevue Hospital recovering from hepatitis A, probably contracted from a dirty needle she used while taking drugs. She is pencil-thin but probably will survive—this time. Stuart asks her about Natasha, who Rita thinks has been working as a prostitute for a pimp called Uncle Bill, who lives on 125th Street. When Stuart goes to the address, a black child sitting on the railing of the tenement informs him that Uncle Bill is in "the trench," a pauper's graveyard. Stuart begins to give up hope of finding Natasha; her image is beginning to fade, and he now doubts that he would recognize her if he did find her. The only thing that is still certain for him is that he recognizes people who are not her.
Stuart continues to prowl the New York streets and starts drinking again, although he stays off drugs. In a restaurant called the Golden Corner, he meets a prostitute and strikes up a conversation. He tells her about Natasha, but when she questions him, he cannot really say why he is looking for her. He says he has survivor's syndrome, feels responsible for her somehow, feels that if he can take hold of her, then she will take hold of someone else, and everybody will be saved through some kind of magical chain of connection. Stuart kills time going to martial arts movies around Times Square, observing that the theme of return is prevalent in them. Sleeping in his grubby hotel room, he dreams uninterpretable bits and pieces but wakes up one night muttering "Clifton."
Back at Henry's, he finds out where Clifton is living, a half-renovated shell of a building on 8th Street. Carrying a rolled-up newspaper with a length of pipe inside, Stuart knocks on Clifton's door, and when Clifton sleepily lets him in, Stuart knocks him across the room, bloodying Clifton's mouth and knocking out a tooth. Clifton still does not know anything about Natasha and vows to kill Stuart if he comes around again. Stuart continues to think about Natasha. Every day he reads the newspaper accounts of missing people—Stuart calls them "gone people"—but there is no Natasha.
One spring day, when the coldness of winter has passed, Stuart sees an old friend named Tombo in Tompkins Square. Tombo has all the characteristics of a junkie but has not aged much and is wearing expensive-looking clothing. Tombo, for the moment, is doing all right but has not seen Natasha in more than a year. Stuart, however, claims that he has quit looking for her: Now he is just waiting to find her. "Interesting strategy," Tombo observes somewhat cynically. Walking the city, Stuart finds that his sense of urgency and expectation of encountering Natasha has become an end in itself, as it used to be when he looked forward to a fix.
On the fifth or sixth day of spring, Stuart finds Natasha. She is sitting on a bench in Washington Square, her head back and her mouth open, "tapped out" on drugs. She is dreaming—he can see her eyes darting back and forth beneath her closed lids—and she is thin, track-marked, and possibly dying. Stuart does not think about these things, however, as he keeps on walking toward her. He has finally found the moment he has believed in for so long.