Ma'Dear by Terry McMillan
"Ma'Dear" by Terry McMillan centers on an elderly African American widow who reflects on her life while navigating her current circumstances. The story unfolds through a conversational narrative, blending past memories with present-day realities. The protagonist, known only as Ma'Dear, has been a widow for thirty-two years after the death of her husband, Jessie, whom she fondly remembers as irreplaceable. Despite her attempts to connect with other men, she finds them lacking and has reconciled herself to solitude, often spending her days in the park contemplating life and eavesdropping on others.
Ma'Dear's financial situation compels her to rent out rooms in her home to supplement her Social Security income, which adds stress, especially with an impending visit from a caseworker she believes is being sent to scrutinize her finances. Her reflections touch on themes of aging, loneliness, and the societal pressures surrounding her, including her frustration with the welfare system and the choices of younger generations. While she copes with the realities of her life, including the loss of friends and the discomfort of growing old, Ma'Dear remains determined to maintain her dignity and independence, planning small pleasures to brighten her days. McMillan's narrative captures the essence of resilience and the complexities of navigating life as an aging woman in contemporary society.
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Ma'Dear by Terry McMillan
First published: 1990
Type of plot: Impressionistic
Time of work: The 1980's
Locale: The southeastern United States
Principal Characters:
Ma'Dear , a seventy-two-year-old African American widowJessie , her deceased husbandThe caseworker Clarabelle , her neighbor who works in the caseworker's officeGunther , her friend who lives in a nursing homeThelma , Jessie's niece
The Story
In a grammatically incorrect narrative that ambles through the past and the present, Ma'Dear, the principal character who is not otherwise identified by name, justifies renting rooms in her house to supplement her income and explains that her present single state is not intentional. She introduces herself as a widow of thirty-two years whose husband Jessie was and is without peer. She tried to find a replacement for Jessie but was unsuccessful. Whimpy Davis was crazy, Chester Rutledge was boring, and Bill Ronsonville was a rough lover. She has reconciled herself to being alone and amuses herself by sitting in the park, where she ponders death, eavesdrops on conversations, adds up numbers on license plates, and goes to the matinee if the lines are not slowed by senior citizens.
Although she thinks about death, she insists that she does not dwell on it. A more pressing concern is an imminent visit from the caseworker from whom Ma'Dear hides evidence of revenue beyond her Social Security income. Ma'Dear is convinced that the caseworker's visit has been prompted by Clarabelle, a neighbor whom Ma'Dear considers nosy and envious. Ma'Dear believes that Clarabelle, who works in the caseworker's office, had noticed delivery trucks at Ma'Dear's house and sent the caseworker to spy. The trucks were delivering replacements for a couch and a boiler. Willamae, Jessie's sister, had borrowed the money for the boiler for Ma'Dear, whose own bank would not give her a loan. The bank, however, frequently sends letters offering to refinance her house at a higher rate of interest. Ma'Dear blames the bank's incessant letters, with questions about the effect of her death on family finances, for her preoccupation with death.
Her financial situation does not permit many extravagances—some potato chips, ice cream, and pork chops. She relies on Social Security and the roomers' rent for income. Medicaid pays her medical expenses. She attempted to apply for food stamps but became frustrated and gave up after repeated efforts. She is, however, conscientious about her diet. She remembers that when she was young she worried about eating too many sweets for fear of gaining weight and developing cellulite. The young Ma'Dear's teeth were bright, straight, and white; she looked healthy and attracted the attention of many men. Connie Curtis would curl her hair for a dollar and a beer. The aging Ma'Dear has no teeth, and her skin sags.
She contends that she does not miss being young, having done everything she wanted to do as a girl. She does not understand the choices that today's young people, especially the girls, make. For example, Jessie's niece Thelma did not finish high school, has three children, has never been married, and is on welfare. Ma'Dear never had any children. She believes that Jessie was at fault, but she does not really care because she did not want to share him with anyone. Although she does not regret being childless, she does regret her lack of education. With an education and her sense of style, she would have become an interior decorator.
Although she still misses and often thinks of Jessie—who was her companion, friend, and lover—after thirty-two years, Ma'Dear has other friends. Some are dead. Others are chronically ill or living in nursing homes, an unpleasant prospect for her. She does not like being around sick people, but she visits her friends who are in nursing homes. She repeats, as she has throughout her narrative, that she does not mind growing older. She does mind the solitude; it depresses her. Thelma is the only person who remembers her birthday.
Her thoughts turn to the caseworker's visit for which she must hide evidence of her roomers. She decides first to take a bubble bath, make a cup of tea, and paint her nails. She will postpone preparation for the caseworker, and weather permitting, after the caseworker leaves, she will go to a museum and look at new pictures. For the caseworker, she will pretend to be a lonely widow who is awaiting death.
Bibliography
Dandridge, Rita B. "Debunking the Beauty Myth in Terry McMillan's Waiting to Exhale." In Language, Rhythm, and Sound: Black Popular Cultures into the Twenty-first Century, edited by Joseph K. Adjaye and Adrienne R. Andrews. Pittsburgh: University of Pittsburgh Press, 1997.
Dandridge, Rita B. "Debunking the Motherhood Myth in Terry McMillan's Mama." CLA Journal 41, no. 4 (1998): 405-416.
Ellerby, Janet Mason. "Deposing the Man of the House: Terry McMillan Rewrites the Family." MELUS 22, no. 2 (June 1, 1997): 105-117.
Nunez, Elizabeth, and Brenda M. Greene. Defining Ourselves: Black Writers in the 90's. New York: P. Lang, 1999.
Patrick, Diane. Terry McMillan: The Unauthorized Biography. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1999.
Richards, Paulette. Terry McMillan: A Critical Companion. Westport, Conn.: Greenwood Press, 1999.