Metaphysics of a Two-Headed Calf by Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz

First published:Metafizyka dwugłowego cielęcia, 1962 (Metaphysics of a Two-Headed Calf, 1972)

First produced: 1928, at the Teatr Nowy, Poznan, Poland

Type of plot: Surrealist

Time of work: The 1920’s

Locale: British New Guinea and Australia

Principal Characters:

• Sir Robert Clay, the governor of New Guinea
• Lady Leocadia Clay, his wife, forty-eight years old
• Patricianello, the sixteen-year-old son of Lady Leocadia Clay
• Professor Edward Mikulin-Pechbauer, a famous bacteriologist
• Ludwig, Prince von und zu Turn und Parvis, thirty years old
• Mirabella, his half-sister, eighteen years old
• Jack Rivers, the president of the Gold Stock Exchange of Kalgoorlie, Western Australia
• Hooded Figure, a tall sinister character
• King, the chief of the Aparura clan
• Old Hag, a hunchbacked old wreck in rags

The Play

The first act of Metaphysics of a Two-Headed Calf opens in a room of Governor Clay’s mansion in Port Moresby, the capital of British New Guinea. Open double doors reveal a thicket of tropical plants covered with gigantic pink, red, and blue flowers swaying in the late afternoon breeze. Lady Leocadia sits reading, dressed in an unfastened white dressing gown, while close to her, in a small chair, Patricianello, dressed in crimson tights, is gluing together cubes of cardboard. Lady Leocadia expresses annoyance that Patricianelo is playing with the cubes, or “thingamajigs,” while Patricianello tells her about his dream of his “other” mother, the “real” one, young and beautiful, who held him on her lap kissing him. It is revealed that the governor, who has gone on an expedition to Fly River to add to his collection of exotic bugs, although supplied with Mikulin’s serum against tropical fever, may be dead. As Patricianello keeps reading and muttering phrases from a book on empiricism, Professor Mikulin-Pechbauer, dressed in a black coat, enters and says that the report about Governor Clay has been confirmed. Patricianello thereupon accuses his mother of being Mikulin’s mistress and Mikulin of killing his father. Prince Parvis enters, carrying a riding whip and dressed in expedition clothes and pith helmet; he is followed by King Aparura, who is naked except for his loincloth, headdress, and wild hair. Invited to make himself a drink, he stands by the sideboard, tossing them off one after another.aw Ignacy Witkiewicz{/I}}

A struggle ensues among these curious characters for Patricianello’s future as each envisions what Patricianello should become. Both Leocadia and Mikulin want him to be an extraordinary individual entirely their own, although it is totally irrelevant to them whether he is to be a criminal or cabinet minister. His cousin Parvis, however, reminds Patricianello of the potential of total freedom and independence of will and promises to whip Patricianello into shape. Patricianello is more concerned with his identity: It is revealed that he is Mikulin’s son from an affair with Leocadia. At first horrified that the governor is not his father, Patricianello soon realizes that he must create his own reality; he asserts that truth is relative.

Meanwhile, all are aware that they must leave Port Moresby as soon as possible now that Mikulin’s serum has been proven worthless by the governor’s death. Patricianello, however, expresses a desire to end up as a bug in the governor’s collection “stuck on a pin and chloroformed.” At these suicidal thoughts, Parvis starts lashing at Leocadia and Mikulin with his whip, and he tempts Patricianello back to life by promising him his half-sister Mirabella as a new “thingamajig.” Leocadia, jealous at this new complication, tells Patricianello that she will remain forever in his dreams. Mikulin produces a photograph of Leocadia as a young woman, and Patricianello recognizes the “real” mother from his dreams. Parvis, however, draws out another photograph, that of his sister Mirabella, and Patricianello sees an exact likeness of Leocadia as a young woman. At this Patricianello swoons, crying, “She’s alive.” King Aparura and Parvis make a pact to bring up Patricianello together.

In the last scene of the first act, six sailors bring in the governor’s corpse while Leocadia goes into perfunctory hysterics. At the same time six Papuans come in and prostrate themselves before King Aparura. Parvis orders Patricianello to take off his red tights and change into more proper attire. Fear of being infected by the governor’s corpse forces everyone to make a hasty retreat, and all including the king hasten to catch the boat to Sydney, while the six Papuans remove the governor’s body. Thus the first act ends with the packing off of Patricianello.

Act 2 opens at dusk in a room of the Hotel Australia in Sydney. Leocadia, in a white nightcap and with a compress covering her face, lies dying while Patricianello, now dressed in a suit, sits in an armchair reading to her. Leocadia interrupts to assure him that she loved him the most, despite her husband the governor, her lover Mikulin, and her other lover, young Parvis. Patricianello regrets that he cannot believe in Parvis’s philosophy and, bereft of all fathers, must now face growing up alone. Leocadia’s death agony is long and tortured; she feels the bacteria with which she has been inoculated by Mikulin attacking her brain. Mikulin enters, and Patricianello threatens to kill him for killing his mother; Mikulin reveals that he has prepared a new serum, which, although too late to save Leocadia, may save the rest. Parvis enters with Mirabella, dressed in a tailored suit. Patricianello finds her pretty, but, despondent at his mother’s imminent death, he says that love has no charm for him, adding that everything in life “comes either too early or too late.” Parvis reassures him that Mirabella will take his mother’s place, and since Mirabella seduced Jack Rivers, president of the Kalgoorlie Gold Exchange, who has been skimming the profits from the mines, their financial security is assured. At this, the king, now nattily dressed in a gray suit, enters with Jack Rivers, who suggests that they leave for the gold mines as soon as possible.

As Leocadia lies in her final death struggle, a hooded figure in a brown coat enters and announces that he is Kala-Azar; at this Leocadia dies, meowing like a cat. Mikulin then proceeds to give all present a shot of his new serum. All agree to leave for the desert, including the hooded figure, who will pack himself into a trunk. An uncertain Patricianello asks Rivers to help him learn how to love Mirabella, and he agrees to share Mirabella with him. Parvis, attempting to retain control of Patricianello, tells Mirabella to change her clothes so that they can look at her “from a different viewpoint,” and she returns wearing a “devilishly fancy ball gown.”

At this vision Mikulin begs Patricianello to give him Mirabella in order that he might relive his love for Leocadia. The figure, too, is bewitched and protests that he cannot pack himself in the trunk; as the sounds of Oriental music played on a piano emerge from the next room, the figure sweeps Mirabella into a wild dance. Captivated by Mirabella as the others are, Patricianello says that Mikulin must die so that he, Patricianello, will be free to start another life. At this, the figure, while gyrating wildly in the dance, grabs Mikulin and, still dancing, strangles him. Patricianello tells the figure that he feels as if he has committed a crime but nevertheless has a completely clear conscience. Now that he is an orphan, he asserts that Mirabella is the “real mother” he saw in his dream, and when Mirabella kisses him, he collapses in a dead faint. Parvis in the meantime drags in a trunk and orders the figure to pack himself in. Two porters take out Patricianello’s unconscious body and the trunk; the king offers Mirabella his arm, and they and Rivers go out. The old hag who played the piano approaches Parvis, who pays her for “her niece.”

Act 3 opens in the red plain of a desert extending to the horizon. A road cuts diagonally across, while in the distance the glow of a city can be detected. To the right stands a signpost with two signs pointing to “Kalgoorlie” and the “Desert,” while to its left stands an open telephone booth. Patricianello enters, dressed in khaki, with pith-helmet and knapsack; in a Hamlet-like speech he debates whether “to wait or not to wait.” Rivers, dressed in similar attire, also wanders in, and it appears that they must leave as soon as the others arrive for fear of the police since Rivers has forged the signatures of Mikulin, Leocadia, and Patricianello.

Patricianello calls Rivers an “ordinary scoundrel, not a metaphysical one,” and asserts that his partnership with Rivers regarding Mirabella is finished. Soon Parvis and Mirabella enter as well, dressed in similar attire, and Parvis shoots Rivers, boasting that he has forged a passport for himself in Rivers’s name so that all proceeds from the mines will become his property. Parvis also mentions that he saw Leocadia and Mikulin in town racing in a car at breakneck speed; they should arrive at any moment. Sir Robert Clay, the governor, wearing a top hat and tails, wanders in unnoticed and sits next to the hooded figure, who has emerged from the trunk and is sitting by the signpost. In the meantime Patricianello argues with Parvis over the meaning of life and rejects Parvis’s pragmatic viewpoint, declaring that in his soul he is an artist, although he realizes that he will probably never be one. At this point Parvis notices the governor, who assures him that he is not a “ghost” but indeed quite alive. Patricianello expresses his confusion, but the governor assures him that he is indeed his father and encourages him to assert his independence. Patricianello at this expresses hope that he will start writing, painting, or composing, since “bored automatons have to be entertained.”

As Parvis, Mirabella, and Patricianello lie on the ground discussing metaphysical questions, a car driven by the old hag, with Mikulin and Leocadia in the front seat and King Aparura in back, all wearing fur coats, pulls up to the road sign. A battle of the fathers and mothers for the domination of their putative children ensues. Patricianello expresses his despair by pulling out a revolver and pointing it to his head; Leocadia scolds him for constantly playing with “thingamajigs.” Mikulin kills Parvis, his second putative son, thus resolving the question “of whether or not to shoot one’s own son.”

The battle for Patricianello continues; despite Patricianello’s desperate pleas that all he wants is to live out his own life with Mirabella, Mikulin asserts that he will live through Patricianello to be “the greatest representation of mankind.” Thereupon, Mikulin, Leocadia, and the now debased king grab Patricianello, gag him, and load him into the car and drive off. As Mirabella protests that she loves Patricianello, the hooded figure reminds her that he is still there; throwing off his robe he is revealed to be identical to Patricianello. He and Mirabella face each other wordlessly. In the meantime, the governor stalks them, shoots down Mirabella, and, calling the figure “Murphy,” goes to the telephone and orders that his car be sent around to Crossroads Number Eight. To comfort the now shivering figure, he pours the contents of a flask down the figure’s throat. “Gin cordial,” he says. “Do you a world of good, Murphy, my boy.” The play ends with this gesture held until the lights go out.

Dramatic Devices

Metaphysics of a Two-Headed Calf takes the spectator from the tropical setting of the governor’s mansion in Port Moresby, New Guinea, to the first-class chic of the Hotel Australia in Sydney, to the final dreamlike red desert of outback Australia. The tropical thicket with brilliant gigantic pink, red, and blue flowers which serves as the backdrop for the colonial parlor, with its shutters and mosquito netting, juxtaposes the natural setting of King Aparura with the corruption of his naked state by the gin fizzes of the parlor sideboard. The appropriation of the tropics is manifested in the second act as Aparura appears dressed in a stylish suit. The hotel-room setting also presents a world in transit and transformation as the characters pack themselves in or are, like Patricianello, packed in.

The first two acts, played within the walls of illusionistic rooms, confine the characters to a reality where only a hint of the mysterious world appears in the brilliant hues of tropical vegetation, King Aparura’s nakedness, or the prostrate Papuans. The third act, however, shifts the perspective of confinement to the infinite space of the desert extending to the horizon. At this point Witkiewicz increases elements of the irrational by placing a signpost pointing to Kalgoorlie to the right and the Desert—with the number 8, suggesting infinity—to the left. The misplaced telephone booth brings another touch of the surreal and irrational to the scene.

The image of the ghost parents coming to haunt their children in the third act shows both family and societal values disintegrating as the power-thirsty parents destroy any semblance of European cultural integrity through betrayal, and murder. Violent, illogical murders occur throughout the play as Witkiewicz flouts causality and forestalls any attempt to understand the psychology of the characters. The third act in particular abandons any semblance of the plot machinery set in motion in the first act, and the characters themselves show their awareness of the theatricality of the action by stepping out of character to comment on the absurdity of the play’s events. “Red desert or flower creepers or luxury hotel, the setting doesn’t change anything,” says Mirabella, underscoring the extent to which the setting has become a theatrical expression of the diminished hopes of Patricianello and Mirabella. Indeed, the brilliant tonalities of the flowers and Patricianello’s red tights fade with each succeeding act until there is an almost total absence of color in both landscape and costumes as the tonalities of gray, black, and brown in the third act project the drabness overpowering the expectations of the young calf Patricianello.

Critical Context

Metaphysics of a Two-Headed Calf is one of several plays in which Witkiewicz makes use of imagery and impressions from his expedition to New Guinea and Australia with social anthropologist Bronisław Malinowski. In these plays, Witkiewicz explores the cultural polarities between East and West and what he considers to be the plague of civilization thrust upon the primitive paradise by Europeans. Unsated by their conquests, the Europeans succumb to tropical madness. In Pragmatyści (pb. 1920, pr. 1921; The Pragmatists, 1971) Witkiewicz presents the character Plasfodor, who has kidnapped Princess Tsui, seduced her, and, still unsated, drunk her blood “through a straw made of dried Wu grass.”

The mummified princess returns from the dead to take Plasfodor and the other Europeans to the edge of existence. In Mister Price: Czyli, Bzik tropikalny (pr. 1926; Mr. Price: Or, Tropical Madness, 1972) Witkiewicz constructs a dream about British colonial life peopled by demented characters who may well have fabricated their madness as they eagerly revert to the status of beasts of prey, succumbing to the laws of the jungle. In the second act of Tumor Mózgowicz (pr., pb. 1921; Tumor Brainiowicz, 1980), Witkiewicz presents the representative reactions of the members of a European expedition to a tropical island: Sir Alfred Green plants the British flag for the glory of the empire; Iza wishes to make love to the islanders, not out of passion but a lust for power; and Tumor expresses fantasies about becoming the prince and ruler of the island.

These plays are linked not only thematically but also structurally, with sudden plot shifts, disruption of causal relationships, illogical action, and fantastic characters. Witkiewicz’s theoretical writings advocating “Pure Form” for the theater outlined his attempt to project simultaneously themes of humanity’s loneliness in the cosmos, death, sexual insatiability, the conflict between the artist and family or society, social decay, and the increasing mechanization of life. To shock spectators out of their complacency, Witkiewicz used dramatic devices such as exaggerated claustrophobic space, retardation and acceleration of action, the viewing of corpses, anachronistic visitors out of historical time, the spotlight effect, split-images, and the violation of laws of psychology, physics, and biology. Death, like time and space, becomes relative, and the dead, as in Metaphysics of a Two-Headed Calf, are likely to reappear in the next scene. Witkiewicz’s representation of chaotic and contradictory events expresses the uncertainty of his many artist protagonists in a world in which material reality has been radically redefined by non-Euclidian geometry and Einsteinian physics. These concerns, given dramatic form with brilliant originality, have drawn increasing attention to Witkiewicz both as a precursor of the Theater of the Absurd and other movements in contemporary drama and as a significant dramatist in his own right.

Sources for Further Study

Dukore, Bernard F. “Spherical Tragedies and Comedies with Corpses: Witkacian Tragicomedy.” Modern Drama 18 (September, 1975): 291-315.

Gerould, Daniel C. Witkacy: Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz As an Imaginative Writer. Seattle: University of Washington Press, 1981.

Gombrowicz, Witold. Diary, 1961-1966. Edited by Jan Kott. Evanston: Northwestern University Press, 1994.

Kott, Jan. “Witkiewicz: Or, The Dialectics of Anachronism.” In The Theater of Essence and Other Essays. Evanston, Ill.: Northwestern University Press, 1984.

Miłosz, Czesław. “Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz: A Polish Writer for Today?” Tri-Quarterly 9 (Spring, 1967): 143-154.

Tarn, Adam. “Witkiewicz, Artaud, and the Theatre of Cruelty.” Comparative Drama 3 (Fall, 1969): 162-168.

Thompson, Ewa M. Witold Gombrowicz. Boston: Twayne, 1979.