The Two Bottles of Relish by Lord Dunsany
"The Two Bottles of Relish" by Lord Dunsany is a darkly humorous short story that follows the relationship between a dim-witted traveling salesman named Smethers and his intellectually gifted flatmate, Linley. When Smethers learns of a baffling murder case involving a man named Steeger, who is suspected of killing his companion Nancy Elth, he encourages Linley to solve the mystery. The narrative unfolds as Smethers investigates the crime scene and shares his findings with Linley, who remains largely detached and lazy in his approach.
Key elements of the story include the peculiar circumstances surrounding Steeger, such as his vegetarianism in a rural area and the curious presence of two bottles of relish associated with the crime. As Linley pieces together the clues, it becomes chillingly apparent that Steeger may have resorted to cannibalism, using the relish to mask the horror of his actions. The story cleverly plays with the themes of intellect versus ignorance, and the insidious nature of crime, while leaving certain details to the reader's imagination. Overall, "The Two Bottles of Relish" presents a macabre yet engaging exploration of human nature and moral boundaries.
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The Two Bottles of Relish by Lord Dunsany
First published: 1932
Type of plot: Horror
Time of work: The 1930's
Locale: Southern England
Principal Characters:
Smethers , the narrator, a traveling salespersonLinley , a gentleman of leisure and an amateur detectiveSteeger , a clever and unscrupulous murdererInspector Ulton , a Scotland Yard detective
The Story
An affable, but not very bright, traveling salesperson named Smethers begins sharing a London flat with an Oxford-educated gentleman named Linley, who displays extraordinary mental gifts. (Their relationship is similar to that between Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson.) One day Smethers calls his friend's attention to a newspaper account of a murder case that has the police baffled and challenges Linley to solve it.
A man named Steeger is suspected of murdering a pretty blond companion named Nancy Elth in order to get his hands on the money she had brought to their cottage in the south of England. The local police have kept the place surrounded but have been unable to find a trace of the young woman's body and cannot arrest Steeger without a corpse. Steeger claims that the woman has left the country, but he has a large amount of cash that he cannot account for.
Because Linley is constitutionally lazy, he sends Smethers to study the crime scene and talk to everyone in the neighborhood. Smethers reports back that there appears to be no way in which Steeger could have buried the body on the premises or spirited it away undetected. The most curious fact is that Steeger obtained his landlord's permission to chop down a stand of ten larch trees and cut them into two-foot logs, but he has never used the wood for any purpose. Smethers reports that two bottles of Numnumo—the brand of relish that he himself peddles as a traveling salesperson—were found when the police searched the premises. Linley continues to question Smethers for the smallest details he can remember from his investigations.
Smethers reports that the local constable is suspicious of Steeger because he is a vegetarian, and vegetarians are unknown in that isolated county. Linley takes special interest in the two bottles of relish because Smethers, who knows the product better than anyone else, assures him that it can be used only with meats and savories. He has Smethers telephone to inquire whether Steeger bought the bottles of Numnumo at the same time or on separate occasions. Smethers ascertains that they were bought separately, with an interval of about six days between purchases.
After considering all the information at his disposal, Linley calls in a Scotland Yard inspector and explains the whole method of the crime in the privacy of his bedroom. Smethers, who only overhears snatches of their conversation, does not pass along all the details, but leaves them to the reader's imagination. It becomes horribly obvious that Steeger cut up the body and ate it, using the two bottles of relish to help him overcome his natural revulsion to cannibalism. Smethers relates that he overheard Linley tell the inspector that Steeger went through the trouble of chopping down the trees and cutting them into logs, "Solely in order to get an appetite."