Toxic positivity

Toxic positivity is a term used in psychology to refer to an excessive focus on maintaining a positive attitude in even the worst circumstances. A person engaging in toxic positivity strives to ignore or downplay emotions that are seen as negative, such as fear, disappointment, jealousy, or anger, even if they are appropriate and normal for the situation. Psychologists note that maintaining a positive attitude is not in itself a bad thing. However, they say that the continual denial and repression of strong negative emotions causes physical and emotional stress that can damage a person’s mental and physical health.

Background

Psychology—the study of the human mind and how it functions and directs behavior—began as a science in the latter part of the nineteenth century. Early psychologists focused on understanding how the mind works and the factors that affect human thought and behavior. They then sought to apply what they were learning to help people deal with conditions such as depression and compulsive behaviors.

Toward the middle of the twentieth century, World War II caused many around the globe to struggle with depression, anger, and other difficult emotions. Psychologists of this time focused on helping people cope with the negative effects of depression and other similar conditions. Around the time the war ended in 1945, however, some psychologists started de-emphasizing overcoming negative feelings. Instead, they encouraged people to think in more positive ways as a means of dispelling anxiety, anger, and depression.

Several psychologists are especially associated with this new trend, which became known as positive psychology. The term “positive psychology” is most associated with American psychologist Abraham Maslow. Maslow first coined the term for his 1954 book Motivation and Personality.

Another American psychologist, Martin Seligman, focused his studies and experiments on learned helplessness, where people who are repeatedly subjected to difficult negative circumstances come to believe they are powerless to change anything about their lives. Inspired by his five-year-old daughter’s assertion that she made up her mind not to be whiny, Seligman became convinced that people could develop positive attitudes by focusing on the behavior they wished to cultivate.

Hungarian-born psychologist Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi is also considered a founder of positive psychology. During World War II, when he was a young child, he was taken from his family and placed in a prison in Italy. He noticed how creating art helped him cope with his circumstances, and he became interested in how the mental “flow” state that emerged during the creative process helped people develop and maintain positive thoughts.

Overview

The development of positive psychology in the second half of the twentieth century led to a movement that considered positive thinking to be a cure-all for many mental health concerns. Encouragement to think positive thoughts arose from many sources, including lecturers, authors, songwriters, movies, and more. This seemed to be supported by studies that found that people who were positive thinkers had higher self-esteem and were less likely to self-harm or commit suicide.

This emphasis on positive thinking was carried so far that some psychologists say it led to a potentially dangerous situation, toxic positivity. Thinking positively as a general practice can help people cope with day-to-day disappointments. However, psychologists say that positivity carried to extremes can make situations worse. They say that forced positivity and repressing emotions seen as negative, such as anger or sadness, does not acknowledge the fact that these emotions are real and part of normal human behavior. Continually repressing these natural feelings can cause emotional and physical stress that will ultimately have mental and physical consequences, according to psychologists.

The “look on the bright side” approach is generally fine for dealing with everyday problems, such as running out of one’s favorite coffee. However, it is seldom helpful for serious problems and hardships, such as sudden unemployment or the death of a loved one. Using that approach at the onset of a serious hardship may only make the suffering person feel confused or misunderstood. It may make them feel that their naturally strong negative emotions are misguided or demeaned.

People who promote toxic positivity are often well-meaning. They may say things like “everything happens for a reason,” when a person has been in serious accident, for instance, or attempt to console someone by saying, “it could have been worse.” Another example that was prevalent during the COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns was the emphasis on using the forced downtime to learn new skills; this idea, taken to extremes, could cover up fear, anxiety, sadness, or other reasonable negative reactions to the serious situation.

Signs that a person is experiencing toxic positivity include hiding, masking, or feeling guilty for how they feel, and trying to get dismiss serious difficulties by saying, “I just need to get past it.” Instead, psychologists say that people should acknowledge their negative feelings. Labeling and talking about these feelings often helps to reduce their strength and work out productive ways to deal with them. It can also be helpful to remember that no one can feel positive and upbeat all the time, and that feeling sad, angry, or fearful is often normal.

Signs that a person is encouraging toxic positivity include comments or actions that shame or belittle others for feeling sad or bad about their circumstances, or telling them “things could be worse.” Instead, psychologists say that people can help friends deal with negative feelings by encouraging them to express how they feel and confirming that those feelings are legitimate and appropriate. Venting these feelings can prevent the person from developing long-lasting problems such as shame and depression.

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