Celibacy

Celibacy refers to a person who is physically capable of having sex but does not engage in sexual intercourse, usually on a permanent basis. The concept normally includes some form of decision to avoid sex on the person's part, especially a specific vow to avoid sex. Celibacy is often associated with a religious vow to avoid marriage and sex, particularly in the Roman Catholic and Buddhist traditions, but a person can be celibate without taking a religious vow. Another definition of celibacy is someone who chooses not to marry, with the implication that this will also mean no sexual intercourse. While the word celibacy is sometimes used interchangeably with abstinence and chastity, each has a unique meaning.

Background

The word celibacy comes from the Latin word caelibatus, which means "a state of being unmarried." The word was first used in English in the 1600s, but the concept existed far earlier. It involves the idea of abstaining from sex, or choosing not to engage in sexual intercourse, but goes a step further. While abstinence can be temporary—for example, a couple may decide to abstain from intercourse while the woman is pregnant, or while they are staying with family—celibacy usually involves the idea of a permanent decision not to have sex. It is also different from chastity, which is choosing to be sexually active only in those circumstances that fit the person's life situation. Chastity is the reason an unmarried couple might choose to wait until after marriage to have sex, or why sexual partners are faithful, having sex only with each other and no one else.

Celibacy has long been associated with the Roman Catholic Church, as most of those who enter religious orders to become priests, bishops, cardinals, nuns, and monks must take vows of celibacy. In taking this vow they are specifically promising not to marry. Since the Catholic Church also holds that sex outside of marriage is not allowed, they are effectively vowing to never have sex. Buddhist monks and nuns take a similar vow.

Catholic clergy and religious did not always have to take this vow. It is believed that a number of the Church's founders—the apostles of Jesus Christ—were married, and in the early days of Christianity marriage did not seem to be an impediment to becoming ordained clergy. For example, the New Testament book of First Timothy cites the requirements for bishops and deacons, noting that each candidate for these ordained offices should be married only once (1 Tim 3:2, 12).

However, during the first few hundred years, the practice that came into being required married clergy to leave their wives and any family. These families were not abandoned; the men could usually visit with them during the day, but they were required to practice abstinence, even with their wives. Those who were not married when they were ordained were not allowed to marry afterwards. By the fourth century, ancient writings make it clear that church leaders believed this practice dated back to the Apostles. However, at some point before the thirteenth century the practice of ordaining married men came to an end. This grew out of a belief that it was wrong to break up marriages even for the sake of serving the Church.

The rationale for many religious to remain celibate is the belief that they are married to the church. It is thought that serving God should be their first priority, and being married would interfere with that, to the detriment of both their service and their families. However, numerous faith traditions allow clergy to marry. Some people say the requirement of no marriage and no sex is an unnatural burden and even blame it for instances of child sexual abuse by religious under a vow of celibacy.

Overview

Although celibacy is often most closely associated with those in religious life, many others also choose a permanently celibate lifestyle. This often includes widows and widowers who choose not to remarry or seek a sexual relationship. In some cases, couples who are married or otherwise committed to each other are celibate, choosing not to have sex with each other or with anyone else. This sometimes happens because of a preference of only one person in the relationship, but can be a mutual decision; people can love each other but not enjoy intercourse, or choose to avoid it for some reason. Some studies have indicated that this may be the case for as many as one in twenty married or committed couples.

A person or couple might choose to be celibate for health reasons. A partner who has contracted a sexually transmitted disease from a previous relationship, or who has a disease that can be passed on to any potential offspring, may choose to never have sex to prevent passing on the condition. Some people may also fall in love with someone who is biologically not capable of having sex; for instance, someone who is impotent or who lacks the necessary body parts because of a birth defect, surgery, or accident. They may choose to continue in a loving relationship and be willing to forgo any potential for sexual intercourse. They often still enjoy companionship, non-sexual physical contact such as handholding and cuddling, and shared interests and activities.

Some people are simply not interested in sex. The portrayal of sexual relationships on television and in movies and the mass media emphasis on making oneself attractive to potential partners might make it difficult to believe that people may not all be eager for sexual relationships, but researchers are increasingly discovering more people who consider themselves asexual—or not interested in sex with anyone of any sexual orientation—than previously thought. Some of these people may seek out non-sexual committed relationships, however.

In 2004, British researcher Anthony Bogaert conducted a survey that led him to conclude that one in every one hundred people had no interest in sex. By 2014, he estimated that asexual people made up about 1 percent of the world's population, or as many as seventy million people worldwide. This indicated to him that the sex drive was not as universal as once thought; he referred to the asexual population as the fourth sexual orientation (after heterosexual or opposite sex attraction, homosexual or same-sex attraction, and bisexual or both opposite and same-sex attraction). Many of these people choose celibate lifestyles; those who do not, often feel something is wrong with them because they do not have the sex drive they believe is common to others.

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