Only child

An only child is a person with no biological or adopted siblings. They may, however, have half-siblings or stepsiblings who come along later in life. There are many negative stereotypes associated with only children, including perceptions that they are bossy, lonely, selfish, or spoiled. There is little credible evidence to prove this, however. Some governments, particularly in Asian countries, actually put strict limitations on how many children a family can have. From 1980 to 2015, China operated under a policy of one child per family, although the Chinese government now allows families to have two children. A similar policy has also been in place in Vietnam, limiting most families to two children.

For years, scientists have studied the relationship between birth order and personality. Firstborns tend to be responsible and structured, while the youngest children in families tend to be more relaxed and prone to taking risks. Middle children tend to have large social circles and can grow up to be people-pleasers. Only children tend to be perfectionists, and are often mature for their age. Exceptions do occur in blended families or in families where the age gap between siblings is greater than five years.

Brief History

According to US census data, 23 percent of American families have just one child. Despite this fact, negative stereotypes about only children have persisted since the mid-1800s, when there was a marked statistical increase of only children in middle-class families. Psychologists at the time believed only children spent too much time with adults, and not enough time with other children. They believed also that only children were overindulged, and this grew into the stereotype that only children are spoiled. Child psychologist E.W. Bohannon all but confirmed this stereotype in a 1912 questionnaire, which found that 191 of 266 only children were "excessively" indulged. Cecil Willett Cunnington expanded on this idea a year later, saying that only children were selfish and inconsiderate, and at risk for developing inferiority complexes because their parents did everything for them.

Another concern among psychologists in the early twentieth century was that too much time spent with adults made only children precocious. They were inclined to imitate the adults around them in terms of vocabulary and mannerisms, but they remained immature in other ways. For instance, they were unlikely to possess the tact that most adults did, and would thus reveal information that they should not.

Studies of the time also concluded that being an only child was linked to increased anxiety for several reasons—not the least of which came from the anxiety passed on from their parents. Since parents invested all their time and resources into a single child, they expected a high rate of return in terms of achievement. This seemed especially true in families who limited the amount of children they had for financial reasons. Studies that are more recent have shown that only children have a tendency to be perfectionists because their parents put a great deal of pressure on them to succeed. They also tend to mature faster, which many only children believe is both good and bad.

Educators in the early twentieth century found that only children had a more difficult time adjusting to school than their classmates with siblings did. Teachers attributed these adjustment difficulties, which often led to unpopularity, to the children's "unchildlike ways," and the attitude of superiority that they picked up from the adults in their lives.

Educators felt that recess was especially difficult for only children, who preferred either to be left alone or to watch the other children play. They felt these children disliked games and sports because they could not manipulate the rules to their advantage. They noticed also that only children tended to have younger friends they could dominate, or older friends who indulged them. As a result, only children were believed to be below-average performers in school. Academics also feared that only children could grow up to become overly sensitive or even hypochondriacs, since their parents paid extremely close attention to their health.

Topic Today

According to a 2009 article in Psychology Today, there is increased pressure in only-child families because parents may feel they have only one chance to get it right. Parents of only children tend to be conscientious and deliberate, and their children feel a comparable obligation to do right by their parents. That same article states that only children tend to be very ambitious because they want to live up to the high expectations that their parents set for them. They also tend to be responsible and conscientious, and often less susceptible to peer pressure than children with siblings. That is because they have learned to be content in their own company. Nonetheless, they are still prone to stress from the pressure they put on themselves, and may be reluctant to share in joint decision making. These traits, however, tend to make them high achievers as they age.

While there are no laws in the United States or Europe determining family size, statistics clearly indicate a trend toward smaller families that is unlikely to be reversed in the near future. That has its advantages. Smaller families tend to be wealthier than larger families, simply because they can devote all their resources to fewer people. Only children also tend to have higher intelligence and to be more mature than children who come from families with siblings. Having increased resources can make only children more cultured, responsible, and better prepared for adulthood.

However, there are drawbacks as well. Only children may lack the negotiating skills that are inadvertently learned in large families. They also may be hypersensitive because they never had to deal with the taunting of rough-and-tumble siblings. Perhaps most significantly, however, is the undue burden that small families bear when it comes to dealing with aging parents. With few people to distribute the workload to, they tend to burn themselves out because they are left with no choice but to be sole caregivers. Sociologists also fear that the trend toward smaller families will lead to decreased opportunities to form strong personal connections to others.

Bibliography

Graham, Jennifer. "One-Child America: A Nation of Only Children Could Be Smarter, More Mature – or Conceited." Deseret News, 16 Oct. 2014, www.deseretnews.com/article/865613201/One-child-America-A-nation-of-only-children-could-be-smarter-and-more-mature-1-or-overrun-with.html. Accessed 15 May 2017.

Newman, Susan. "Only Child Stereotypes: Fact vs. Fiction." Susan Newman, Ph.D., www.susannewmanphd.com/blog/2017/05/16/only-child-stereotypes/. Accessed 15 May 2017.

Phillips, Tom. "China Ends One-Child Policy after 35 Years." Guardian, 29 Oct. 2015, www.theguardian.com/world/2015/oct/29/china-abandons-one-child-policy. Accessed 15 May 2017.

Pickhardt, Carl E. "The Adolescent Only Child," Psychology Today, 19 July 2009, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/200907/the-adolescent-only-child. Accessed 15 May 2017.

Reese, Ashley. "7 Stereotypes about Only Children That Are Total BS." Gurl.com. 25 Aug. 2015, www.gurl.com/2015/08/25/stereotypes-about-only-child-children/#ixzz4hAegrebk. Accessed 15 May 2017.

Violett, Alice. "Screwed Up, Little Despots?" British Psychological Society, Jan. 2016, thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-29/january-2016/screwed-little-despots. Accessed 15 May 2017.

Voo, Jocelyn. "How Birth Order Affects Your Child's Personality and Behavior." Parents, www.parents.com/baby/development/social/birth-order-and-personality/. Accessed 15 May 2017.

Wilson, Paul. "Vietnam Poised to End Two-Child Policy." Population Research Institute, 11 June 2015, www.pop.org/vietnam-poised-to-end-two-child-policy/. Accessed 15 May 2017.