Open Adoption

Few family dynamics are more complicated or more studied than the relationship between biological parents and adoptive parents. Conventional wisdom long held that to minimize trauma to an adopted child and to maintain the stability of the adoptive family, the child should have no contact with his or her biological family. Beginning in the 1980s, however, family psychologists pointed to significant data that indicated that such elaborate secrecy was damaging and that maintaining open communication between the two families might in fact help rather than hurt the child. Open adoption stresses voluntary connections between the families to create a stable identity and a healthy family environment for an adopted child.

Overview

Before the social upheaval of the 1960s that redefined family and sexual politics, single mothers bore a heavy social stigma and couples who were infertile were subject to speculation about their marriage. Thus, adoption agencies worked diligently to maintain closed adoptions, that is arrangements in which the biological parents, most often a single mother, were prevented legally from being a part of the child’s life. By sealing those records, the adoption system often created a feeling of displacement in the biological mother’s emotional life, a feeling of having abandoned her child. The system also impacted the adoptive family, creating a feeling of perpetually impending crisis should the birth parents decide to intrude, rendering problematic what constituted “real” parenting. Most profoundly, closed adoption created a sense of identity confusion when the child reached adulthood and could legally access his or her adoption records. The revelation of the adoptive information could trigger lifelong trust issues and impact the grown child’s ability to function in a healthy relationship.

In open adoption, however, both sets of parents work together, sometimes even before the birth. Although degrees of communication are arranged through attorneys to avoid misunderstandings, the principle behind open adoption is that the child is raised within an environment of honesty and openness. Indeed, in many open adoption arrangements, the adoptive parents share the birthing classes and participate in the delivery. Over the years, the adoptive family maintains open communication with the birth parents, sending photos and regular (most often annual) updates on the child’s progress, academic successes, and extracurricular achievements. The relationship between the adoptive and biological parents is necessarily fluid—communication levels and access levels are always in flux depending on how the child reacts and develops. But it is not unusual in open adoptions for biological parents to actually meet the child.

Some psychologists are leery of such arrangements, pointing out that open adoptions merely confuse the child for extended periods of time and make the job of the adoptive parents that much more taxing. It can even make the birth mother’s separation anxiety worse as she is perpetually caught near but not with the child she gave up for adoption. Most lawyers believe that some compromise is better, a kind of semi-open adoption that balances the psychological needs of all those involved and minimizes the corrosive effect of keeping secrets.

Bibliography

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Elkins, Russell. Open Adoption, Open Heart: An Adoptive Father’s Journey. Boise: Aloha, 2012. Print.

Faulkner, Monica, and Elissa E. Madden. “Open Adoption and Post-Adoption Birth Family Contact: A Comparison of Non-Relative Foster and Private Adoptions.” Adoption Quarterly 15.1 (2012): 35–56. Print.

Grotevant, H. D., et al. “Many Faces of Openness in Adoption: Perspective of Adopted Adolescents and Their Parents.” Adoption Quarterly (in press). Print.

Holden, Lori. "Improving Open Adoption." National Council for Adoption, 28 Aug. 2023, adoptioncouncil.org/publications/improving-open-adoptions/. Accessed 26 Dec. 2024.

Holden, Lori, and Crystal Hass. The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole. Lanham: Rowman, 2013. Print.

Siegel, Deborah H., and Susan Livingston Smith. “Openness in Adoption: From Secrecy and Stigma to Knowledge and Connections.” Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute.Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Inst., March 2012. Web. 24 Aug. 2013.

Yngvessan, Barbara. “Reconfiguring Kinship in the Space of Adoption.” Anthropological Quarterly 80.2 (2007). Web.