Parallel play

Parallel play occurs when two young children play near each other, but do not directly interact with each other. The children typically play with the same toys and objects, but do not share the material or communicate with each other. To adults, the children may be seen as ignoring each other, but this style of play is normal and a healthy part of early development. The children may not seem to be interacting, but they are observing each other and often mimic each other’s actions.

Background

Play is a critical part of healthy child development in which important skills are learned through distinct stages of play. Children learn how to engage with the world around them and improve their confidence through play. Also, children learn how to share and resolve conflicts. In 1932, American sociologist and researcher Mildred Parten published her thesis called the Stages of Play Theory, which includes parallel play. Parten, a researcher at the University of Minnesota’s Institute of Child Development, defined the progressive stages of play that children go through in the first five years of their lives. She is credited with being one of the first researchers to conduct extensive studies on children with a focus on play. The six stages of play include:

Unoccupied play: This is the first common form of play observed in children from birth to 3 years old. In this stage, babies are making a lot of movement with their arms, legs, hands, and feet, but they do not engage others. It involves more observing than playing. The children also watch whatever happens to capture their interest. These forms of play do not appear to be educational, but they have a very important developmental purpose. Unoccupied play helps children orient themselves in the world.

Solitary play: In this stage of play, the child—ages 3 months to 2 ½ years—plays alone with toys not used by other children that might be nearby. The child is normally so preoccupied with their own play that they are not interested in other children, and they do not bother to approach them. Development of motor skills, tactile skills, and decision-making skills are fostered during this stage, which helps prepare for more advanced play with other children.

Onlooker play: This stage is seen in children ages 2 ½ to 3 ½ years old in which the child watches and observes others at play but does not participate directly. Children show their interest through observation and questioning and often stand or sit within distance of the group. Sometimes adults get concerned that the child is lonely or afraid to join the others, but onlooker play is a normal play development stage.

Parallel play: Children aged 3 ½ to 4 years old play independently in this stage, but the activity that they choose or the toys they play with are similar to those children around them. They play beside rather than with the other children and do not try to change the way the other children play. Although there is no direct interaction between the children taking part in parallel play, there is a social element in that the child chooses to play with the same toys.

Associative play: Within this stage, children 4 to 4 ½ years old take part in a common or similar activity and they interact with one another, there is little actual cooperation. Children learn how to get along with others and cooperation is taught and language skills improved. In associative play, there are no strict rules—children may be playing with similar toys or engaging in the same type of play, but they are not necessarily doing the same activity.

Cooperative play: Associative play and cooperative play are similar, and they may be hard to distinguish from one another. Children begin cooperative play around age 4 ½ and the purpose is to produce a product or achieve a common goal. Younger children usually do not participate because they cannot express themselves verbally. Cooperative play helps children develop communication skills and advanced organization skills as they work on a shared goal while playing. Common forms of cooperative play include board games and role-playing games.

Overview

There are many benefits of parallel play. There is language development when children are listening to other children and adults while they are engaged in parallel play. Words can be learned easily by hearing a toy or action called a certain word. This enables the child to boost their vocabulary. Parallel play can greatly increase gross and fine motor skill development as well. Children can also learn the freedom to express their own feelings. Parallel play can also aid in learning about boundaries by watching how others interact together. Another important part of such play is learning to share. Toddlers at this stage may be very protective of their toys because they do not understand the concept of sharing. Parents should allow their children to learn to share even if a companion tries to grab their child’s toy. Allowing peers in their space can be a huge milestone for toddlers as parallel play is a step in the direction of socialization.

Children in day care might already be participating in parallel play each day. For those children at home, parents should arrange playdates with toddlers around the same age or sign up for a mommy-and-me class. While children are involved in parallel play, parents should not hover. Minor disagreements over toys should be expected but sitting back and seeing how the children work things out on their own is particularly important. Only if a situation gets intense should parents step in, and if they do, they should refrain from shaming the child. Parallel play can also teach children empathy. Children may cry if they see a playmate crying because he or she hit their head.

Parallel play for neurodivergent children is an important aspect of socializing, learning, and developing. While neurotypical children may participate in parallel play between the ages of one and five, neurodivergent children often continue with parallel play for longer, sometimes into their early teen years. For neurodivergent children, parallel play can be beneficial because it can lead to more cooperative play and relationship building among peers.

Some experts believe that the term parallel play can also be an important part of mature adult relationships. Like children in parallel play, adults can be curious about the world and want to explore more when and if they feel safe in their relationship. This is how stable relationships can enable the fostering of interests independent from their partner. Romantic partners and roommates saw how parallel play in adults could be courtesy of the COVID-19 pandemic. Because there were limited times when one could be alone, pairs found themselves doing separate things in the same space.

Bibliography

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