Sexual Orientation and Youth

Abstract

This article explores the developmental and interpersonal experienced by young people as they pertain to gender and sexual orientation. Cognitive isolation from self is one of the unique characteristics of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) developmental processes. As LGBTQ individuals gain self-knowledge, they are challenged by the choices of invisibility versus self-disclosure and safety versus self-respect. By focusing on shifting American views of LGBTQ issues in relation to adolescent gender and sexual orientation development, this article explores the challenges facing LGBTQ youth and adults.

Keywords Androphilia; LGBTQ; Gynephilia; Heterosexism; Homophobia; Inequality; Pansexual; Polysexual

Sex, Gender, & Sexuality > Sexual Orientation & Youth

Overview

On February 12, 2008, fifteen-year-old Lawrence King was shot twice in the head as he sat in his Oxnard, California, junior high school computer lab working on a paper. King had been teased by his peers since he started elementary school because of his effeminate mannerisms. By age ten, he confirmed their accusations, stating that he was gay and sometimes dressing in women's clothing. With Valentine's Day approaching, female friends of King started asking male classmates to be their Valentines. King asked a fourteen-year-old male student to be his Valentine, and the next day that student brought a handgun to school and killed him (Setoodeh, 2008). According to Katherine Newman's study on school shootings, youth affected by another junior high school shooting in Westside, Arkansas, reported that being called "gay" was a "catastrophic" epithet that would destroy their standing with their peers (Newman, 2004, p. 38). Throughout Newman's analyses of school shootings nationwide, anxiety about sexual orientation played a major role in these murderous confrontations. Thus, despite the profound advancements made in social equality in terms of sexual orientation nationwide, at this time, there are also real risks and threats that confront LGBTQ individuals every day in our society.

Sexual orientation can be defined in many ways, but the most familiar definitions are the legal ones: heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. Heterosexuality is a sexual attraction to individuals of the opposite gender, and homosexuality is an attraction to individuals of the same gender. Bisexuality is an attraction to both men and women, although some individuals choose to use the word "polysexual" to avoid the assumption that only two genders exist. Asexuality is a lack of sexual interest altogether. Individuals also might define themselves as pansexual, which means that they express their sexuality in many forms.

Transsexuals are individuals who feel that their gender identity is different from the one that they were assigned at birth. They may choose to ignore these feelings or, alternately, choose to pass as the opposite gender. Some may choose to undergo gender reassignment through hormone therapy or surgery. Some advocates for transgender individuals question the requirement for hormone therapy and surgery for an individual to change his or her legally recognized gender, arguing that this process enhances traditional, distorted views of gender in our society rather than supports diversity in gender existence. In terms of their sexual orientation, transgender individuals who are attracted to women express gynephilia, while individuals attracted to men express androphilia. Estimates on the number of individuals who are gay or lesbian in our culture vary. Some polls indicate a nationwide average of between 3.5 and 4 percent. Since, however, surveys require self-identification, it is difficult to get a fully accurate count—self-identifying as LGBTQ can depend on personal comfort with being out, with the region of the world the respondent lives in, and with how an individual sees himself or herself.

Determining Sexual Orientation

Scholars continue to debate how to determine an individual's sexual orientation, with some relying solely on self-identification and others considering the individual's sexual behavior. Complicating the matter is the fact that some individuals identify with a different sexual orientation at various times in their lives, depending on their relationships and state of mind. Conversely, other individuals adhere to one sexual orientation, even in the face of numerous sexual encounters that would seem to indicate a different orientation (e.g., a man who identifies himself as heterosexual yet also engages in homosexual encounters). Further, genital sex is not considered a prerequisite for a homosexual or heterosexual identity, meaning that an individual may consider him or herself homosexual without having ever engaged in homosexual intercourse.

Youth, Social & Sexual Identity

Given the increased visibility of variations on sexual orientation, young people are announcing their sexual identity at a younger age. In the 1970s, it was typical for gay and lesbian individuals to solidify their sexual orientation identity in their mid-to-late twenties. However, young people are beginning to express their identities in middle and high school, in part because of the greater visibility of LGBTQ issues in our society as well as the increased support for these young people in our schools, religious institutions, and families.

Like other forms of oppression and discrimination, hostility toward LGBTQ individuals (also called "homophobia" or, in the case of transgender individuals, “transphobia”) takes a great toll on the individual's sense of being a whole, good, and acceptable person. These negative feelings toward self are called internalized homophobia. Thus, this discussion will start with the individual and early childhood experiences.

Most children are born into family settings that mirror their social identities. In these families, race, gender, ethnicity, linguistic expression, religious orientation, and most of the social categories that define one in relation to family, community, church, and country are cohesive. There are some exceptions, such as children born with mental or physical challenges and interracial adoptions. In general, however, the child reflects the parental social identity, and, ideally, he or she is treasured within the family even if social oppression, such as racism, devalues the child in the wider world. Further, family and supportive community members can prepare the child to face social oppression and can convey to the child their own experiences and a sense of pride in his or her cultural identity. But, even with the best intentioned of parents, LGBTQ children usually grow up in a very different context (Harbeck, 2007).

Often very early in their development, LGBTQ individuals realize that they are different. Until relatively recently, though, there was little accurate information available in our culture on LGBTQ issues to help these individuals form a positive identity. Negative stereotypes and abusive comments abound, even within the close confines of home, church, and community. In fact, LGBTQ youth face high rates of child abuse and neglect as parents, sensing that a LGBTQ child is different, may react hostilely to change the child or punish him or her. LGBTQ youth also lack positive role models and mentors, especially when they are young and beginning to realize that they are different. Many of the development processes and rites of passage of our society, which is predominately heterosexual and androcentric, only add to the torment.

As LGBTQ children gain self-knowledge, they quickly realize that expressing their questions and feelings could be profoundly harmful. Parents and friends may understand, but LGBTQ youth also face a high risk of being shamed, teased, bullied, abused, or even thrown out of their homes by disapproving parents. Their cognitive confusion can increase, though, if they try to hide their identity by lying or isolating themselves from similar individuals or engaging in risky behaviors. Some LGBTQ individuals manage their identity by trying to be perfect within all the other realms of their lives. Others drop out of school or are frequently truant to avoid gym class, public restrooms, lockers, and other situations that might lead to greater exposure to or harm from others.

With LGBTQ individuals becoming more visible and with politicians and church leaders becoming more vocal on LGBTQ issues, children now learn of their sexual or gender orientation at a much earlier age. Instead of spending twenty-five or more years processing this identity and developing the skills they need to manage it in our society, young people are now declaring their sexual orientation to their peers as teenagers. One can see why LGBTQ issues have taken on a whole new dimension in our nation's schools, which often lack the ability to provide positive, safe, interpersonal discussions about these socially and politically fraught issues.

Further Insights

"Coming Out"

By telling a few close peers that one may be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, children often unknowingly "come out" to most of the other children in their schools and communities. In this age of digital communications, stories abound of young people broadcasting a child's orientation throughout the school community within minutes of its disclosure. Such an act can heighten an already physically and emotionally risky situation by confirming rumors that may have circulated about the child. Harbeck has argued that this is a critical point for the welfare of all the children involved, and that adult's actions and role modeling can play a key role in determining outcomes (2007).

Parents, teachers, and administrators can use such a situation to reinforce the priority of making sure that all children are physically and emotionally safe in the school by helping children learn about LGBTQ issues in a positive manner as well as how to deal with their differences peacefully. But if parents and school personnel ignore the issues or make derogatory jokes or comments, they can signal to other students at the school that bullying or violence against LGBTQ youth is acceptable. Thus, LGBTQ and questioning youth can be subjected to unchecked emotional and physical abuse at their schools, traveling to and from school, and whenever they are out within the community (Harbeck, 2007).

Some LGBTQ youth, like Lawrence King, flaunt their sexual and gender orientation to cope with the crisis of identity and conflicts it can impose. Other LGBTQ youth and adults internalize homophobia and develop a sense of self-hatred. This can lead to self-destructive behaviors, such as drinking, drugs, and engaging in unprotected sex. LGBTQ youth rejected by their parents can face homelessness and may engage in sex with older adults for money or housing. Often, these sexual acts occur with substance abuse and unprotected sex, exposing the youth to HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

Youth Suicide

Probably the most often cited concern for LGBTQ youth is the high rate of suicide, suicide attempts, and suicidal ideation. The risk of suicide for LGBTQ youth is higher than for the rest of the population. Parents fear it when they find out their child is LGBTQ. Social conservatives employ it to demonstrate that being LGBTQ is deviant and wrong; and well-meaning but poorly informed individuals quote it as if there were an inexorable link between being LGBTQ and committing suicide.

When one reviews the literature on childhood suicide, though, one discovers that the indicating conditions for an at-risk child are isolation, low self-esteem, alcohol abuse, and depression. A catalyst for a suicide attempt under these conditions, then, is often rejection by a peer or parent. Additionally, the issue of cyberbullying in the 2000s has been an increasingly important factor in harassment and youth suicide. Placed within this larger empirical analysis of youth suicide, then, it is clear LGBTQ youth, under the circumstances set forth above, are more likely to experience the indicators for suicide risk.

As in all youth suicide prevention efforts, we need to identify and reduce the risks faced by all children, but not label their identity as the causal factor of those risks. Studies do suggest that the earlier children become aware of their sexual orientations, and the earlier they disclose their sexual orientation to peers, the higher their risk of attempting suicide. Many of these same youths reported greater loss of friends because of their sexual orientation as well as a higher frequency of going to bars and drinking, despite being underage.

In the early 2000s, there was a string of high-profile LGBTQ teen suicides, including those of thirteen-year-old Ryan Halligan in 2003, Rutgers student Tyler Clementi in 2010, and fourteen-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer in 2011, who had himself tried to help victims of bullying. In response, projects such as the It Gets Better Project spread messages that the difficult lives of LGBTQ teens will improve; the project started with video messages from gay adults and some celebrities, and by 2013, included tens of thousands of videos from a diverse body of contributors. Additionally, policies and programs have been developed in communities and schools to protect LGBTQ youth from bullying and offer support and resources. Unfortunately, this trend continued in the early 2020s, as LGBTQ youth were more than four times as likely than their peers to attempt suicide (Johns et al., 2020). This results in 1.8 million LGBTQ youths considering suicide every year and one attempt every 45 seconds (Facts about LGBTQ youth suicide, 2022).

Rejection

Many LGBTQ youth and adults face rejection from their parents, siblings, teachers, employers, church leaders, peers, and others. They can experience physical and emotional abuse, neglect, and homelessness. In 2022, The Trevor Project reported that 28 percent of all LGBTQ youth experienced homelessness at some point during their life. Interpersonal development is hindered because LGBTQ individuals may not fit in with their heterosexual counterparts and lack the support of other LGBTQ individuals. Not surprisingly, many LGBTQ adults conceal their sexual orientation or are afraid that if they work with LGBTQ youth, they will be accused of pedophilia. Thus, LGBTQ youth are one of the few minority groups that face a lack of leadership and mentoring by like-identified individuals. Similarly, because their social bonds with parents, peers, and others may be disrupted, LGBTQ youth and adults may develop difficulties forming close personal or intimate relationships that are in concert with their LGBTQ identities. Like the individuals described above in the public restroom studies, some LGBTQ individuals may remain in the closet and pass as heterosexual or turn to anonymous homosexual sex.

Other Risks

Studies of LGBTQ youth sexuality suggest that factors like low self-esteem, self-hatred, denial, substance abuse, and a lack of financial resources and access to condoms can increase a sexually active LGBTQ youth's likelihood of being raped or contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Knowing the risks of their behavior, these young people can experience a cycle of despair in which they can feel that they have little hope for the future. Throughout their lives, LGBTQ individuals must balance invisibility and disclosure, safety, and self-respect. Like all individuals, but with added challenges, LGBTQ individuals must work to develop close interpersonal relationships and loving same-sex intimate bonds.

Issues

Besides schools, families, religious organizations, and communities, all too often, the professionals who provide physical and mental health services do not recognize LGBTQ issues or know how to address them. Heterosexual professionals may fear that if they demonstrate concern for these issues, their colleagues may label them LGBTQ too. And while this prejudice can hurt emotionally, it can also be paired with acts of discrimination, such as a loss of credibility, being overlooked for promotions, or job loss.

Studies on attitudinal change as it relates to interpersonal prejudice suggest that positive, repeated, and sustained interactions with individuals who are different from oneself enhances feelings of acceptance, while short, stereotypical interactions exacerbate prejudices. Taking Lawrence King's story as an example, the extreme, sexualized advances by an out, gay, cross-dressing student may cause some to dismiss the murder, just as they may have exacerbated the cause of the murder. What is missed in many discussions of LGBTQ issues, though, is the realization that hundreds of thousands of young people deal with issues of sexual orientation in their everyday lives and that many face rejection and physical and emotional abuse if they do not adhere to our society's heterosexual and gender norms.

Terms & Concepts

Androphilia: Having a sexual attraction to males.

Gynephilia: Having a sexual attraction to females.

Heterosexism: A culturally embedded ideology which privileges heterosexual behavior, relationships, and communities over homosexual behavior, relationships, and communities. A heterosexist society may openly denigrate or stigmatize homosexuality, or seek to simply make it invisible.

Homophobia: An aversion to homosexual people or culture.

Pansexual: A term adopted by individuals who believe that human sexuality is a continuum of genders and are attracted to all these genders.

Polysexual: A term adopted by individuals who believe that human sexuality is a continuum of genders and are attracted to some, but not all, of these genders.

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