Psychological manipulation
Psychological manipulation, also referred to as emotional manipulation, is a tactic employed by individuals to exploit the vulnerabilities and weaknesses of others for personal gain or control. This behavior often leaves victims feeling powerless, as manipulators typically operate in subtle ways that make it difficult for victims to recognize the manipulation. Common contexts for psychological manipulation include romantic relationships, familial interactions, and workplace environments. Manipulators may employ various techniques such as guilt, lies, emotional blackmail, and gaslighting, often under the guise of concern or helpfulness. Victims, who may struggle with low self-esteem or a desire to please, can experience significant emotional difficulties, including anxiety, depression, and challenges in trusting others. The prolonged nature of such manipulation can lead to a distorted perception of reality for the victim, sometimes resulting in phenomena like Stockholm syndrome, where victims bond with their abuser. Understanding these dynamics can be crucial for those who find themselves in potentially manipulative situations, as professional guidance may be necessary for recovery and empowerment.
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Psychological manipulation
Psychological manipulation, also known as emotional manipulation, occurs when an individual uses the vulnerabilities and weaknesses of another to achieve a particular goal or purpose, usually to control and gain other benefits from the other person. When psychological manipulation occurs, the manipulator has the power, and the victim is left with little. Abusers usually continue this manipulation until the victim puts a stop to it.
Psychological manipulation is particularly insidious because the victim is unaware that they are being manipulated. Abusers assess their victims by asking questions to determine their weaknesses, including possible insecurities. The manipulation often starts small, but as the manipulator gains greater hold over the victim, the abusive behavior escalates. Psychological manipulation often occurs in romantic relationships but may occur at school, in the workplace, and in the home between parents and children.
Background
People choose to psychologically manipulate others for various reasons. Some want to feel powerful and inflate their own sense of self-worth. These people often have self-esteem issues, and the ability to control others may make them feel better about themselves. Others might engage in the behavior because they are bored.
Manipulators often suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. Those who are afflicted with this disorder have an exaggerated perception of their self-importance. They feel a strong need to have someone loyal to them who will adore and admire them while dutifully complying with their orders and whims. Although narcissists brag at length and seem pretentious to those in their company, they are afflicted with low self-esteem.
Victims of psychological manipulation are conditioned by their abusers to blame themselves. Sometimes victims feel fortunate that they are not being physically abused. Many victims delude themselves into thinking that words do not hurt, yet emotional manipulation is based almost entirely on words. Psychological manipulation leaves no physical evidence of abuse, and victims often wonder if they interpreted their abusers' words and actions incorrectly. Manipulators tend to exonerate themselves for their behavior and foist any fault onto their victims.
Those who have been on the receiving end of psychological manipulation often feel anxious and inferior. This kind of abuse can result in depression, suicide, and difficulty trusting others. Stockholm syndrome can be another possible result. Stockholm syndrome is when a victim begins to identify with their abuser to the point of defending the abuser's behavior. Depending on the length and the severity of the abuse, victims may need to seek professional help. Experienced psychologists can provide an objective view of the victim's situation and give the victim advice about how to avoid such abusive personalities in the future.
Likely victims are unassertive, avoid confrontation, are eager to please others, and suffer from low self-esteem. Those enduring trying situations or loss in their lives are appealing targets for manipulators.
Overview
Manipulators use many methods to gain power over their victims. Some of these tactics include guilt, lies, blackmail, and flattery. Other times, manipulators make assumptions about their victims and speak about these assumptions as if they were factual. For example, if a hypothetical victim forgot to make dinner, the manipulator might suggest that the victim neglected dinner because the victim was lazy and does not care for the manipulator at all.
Guilt is usually the first weapon abusers employ against their victims. A victim need not have done anything wrong for the abuser to use this method.
Manipulators are often insecure and will make their victims bear the burden of these insecurities. For example, if a boyfriend sees his girlfriend speaking to another person, he may tell her that he is fearful that she will leave him for the other person. The boyfriend's goal in this situation is to manipulate his girlfriend into no longer speaking to other people.
Emotional blackmail is another common tactic. An abuser may tell their victim that they will never find someone as good as the abuser or will be alone forever. The abuser might threaten to kill themselves if the victim leaves.
Abusers take delight in pointing out weaknesses under the guise of helpfulness. The abuser will then demonstrate how the victim needs the abuser because they can help the victim become a better person. An abuser may consistently and frequently make the victim aware of flaws and mistakes. The abuser does this under the guise of caring about the well-being of the victim. Manipulators may use large words or speak about topics that are unfamiliar to their victims with the goal, once again, of asserting their superiority.
Sometimes manipulators use humor and sarcasm to mask insults toward their victims. The manipulator might make "jokes" about the mannerisms, weight, height, and habits of the victim. The goal of this manipulation is to assert the manipulator's superiority and reinforce the victim's inferiority. If the victim protests, the manipulator might insist that the victim is being "too sensitive." In other words, the blame is entirely on the victim, and the manipulator is faultless. This is a form of "gaslighting."
Gaslighting is emotional abuse that causes a victim to question their own sanity and judgment. When a manipulator denies insulting or abusing their victim, this is gaslighting. The abuser may simply say that the event in question did not happen, or that their actions were not meant to be harmful. This can cause the victim to doubt their own judgment and perception of events. The term comes from the 1938 play Gas Light by Patrick Hamilton, which details the tribulations of a woman whose husband tries to convince her that she is insane.
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