Abigail Abbot Bailey
Abigail Abbot Bailey, born in 1746 in Rumford, New Hampshire, was a significant figure in the context of 18th-century American women's experiences with marriage and divorce. The second eldest of ten children in a devout Congregationalist family, she witnessed notable shifts in her religious affiliations, eventually aligning with the New Light movement. In 1767, Abigail married Major Asa Bailey, and together they had seventeen children. However, her marriage was marred by Asa's violent behavior and moral indiscretions, including acts of domestic abuse and incest.
Despite the severe social and economic disadvantages faced by women in seeking divorce during this period, Abigail's circumstances compelled her to take action, particularly after Asa's incestuous behavior with their daughter. Ultimately, she successfully navigated the legal challenges posed by their relocation to New York, where divorce laws were less favorable to women. After a tumultuous battle, Abigail was granted a divorce in 1793, securing a modest settlement. She died in 1815, leaving a legacy that highlights the complexities of women's rights and family life in early America.
On this Page
Subject Terms
Abigail Abbot Bailey
Memorist
- Born: February 2, 1746
- Birthplace: Rumford (now Concord), New Hampshire
- Died: February 11, 1815
- Place of death: New England
Biography
Abigail Abbot Bailey was born Abigail Abbot in Rumford (now Concord), New Hampshire, in 1746 to her parents, James and Sarah Abbot. The second eldest of ten children born to a Congregationalist deacon, she grew up in a strong, loving, religious family.
At the end of the French and Indian War in November 1763, her family moved to the rich farmlands in the newly laid-out townships of Newbury (in what later became Vermont) and Haverhill, New Hampshire, on opposite sides of the Connecticut River, a three-day journey north of Concord. She had been formally admitted into her Congregational church membership in Concord just prior to the family’s move to Newbury and Haverhill on September 4, 1763, but soon after her arrival in Newbury, she converted to the New Light wing of Congregationalism, participating in the formation of a new church, the Church of Christ, in Newbury and Haverhill.
Abigail Abbot married Major Asa Bailey in 1767 in Haverhill, New Hampshire. After their marriage, they moved from their farm in Haverhill to another farm in Landaff, New Hampshire, where the family accumulated a significant fortune in land, providing them a physically comfortable existence. The marriage produced seventeen children: four born in Haverhill, five in Bath, and eight in Landaff. One of their sons, Phinehas, remembered his mother in his memoirs as “generous and kind in all of her deportment.”
The marriage was seriously corrupted by the violent brutality and moral indiscretions of Asa, who committed acts of wife beating, adultery with a farm servant, incest with his third- oldest daughter, and attempted rape of another farm servant during their marriage. Given that the social and economic consequences of divorce for women were dire during the eighteenth century, Abigail chose to remain with her husband despite the beatings and indiscretions with their farm workers. However, incest with their daughter provided Abigail the impetus required to begin the divorce process.
Known to be of a violent and cruel temper, Asa Bailey attempted to undermine Abigail’s efforts at separation, enacting land transactions (forging her signature on the deeds), and relocating the family to Bradford, Vermont, toward the ultimate relocation destined for Unadilla, New York. Unknown to Abigail at the time, the move to New York was to minimize or eradicate the legal rights afforded to her as a New Hampshire resident, as Abigail could not sue for divorce under New York laws at the time. In contrast, New England colonies granted absolute divorce, with the right to wed again.
A journey to Unadilla, New York, was made on the false pretext that the sale of the New York property would constitute the funds for her divorce settlement. Instead, she was abandoned by Asa in Unadilla with less than a dollar and while sick with smallpox. She recovered and made the two-week, 250-mile journey back to Bradford, catching Asa in Thetford, Vermont, in the process of moving their children to New York. Asa’s attempt to escape was unsuccessful; he was arrested and jailed in Haverhill, New Hampshire, where Abigail successfully sued for divorce, ending their twenty-six year marriage in 1793.
The final divorce settlement produced a six hundred-dollar settlement for Abigail from the sale of the Bradford farm, and Asa’s promise to never return to the region. The six hundred dollars was quickly used by the large family, and Abigail reluctantly disbursed all but two of her children to live with relatives and friends. Abigail Abbot Bailey died in 1815.