Infidelity
Infidelity, commonly known as cheating or adultery, occurs when one partner in a committed relationship engages in unfaithful acts, which can be physical or emotional, with someone outside the relationship. This breach of trust often results in feelings of betrayal and can lead to significant emotional distress, breakups, or divorces. Research indicates gender differences in motivations for infidelity, with men typically being driven by sexual dissatisfaction and women by emotional discontent. Studies suggest that a notable percentage of married individuals in the U.S. have experienced extramarital sex at least once, with various cultural contexts often identifying infidelity as a leading cause for divorce.
Infidelity can manifest in several forms: opportunistic, obligatory, romantic, conflicted romantic, and commemorative infidelity, each characterized by different motivations and circumstances. The impact of infidelity is profound, affecting not only the individuals involved but also their mental health, self-esteem, and relationships with family and friends. Recovering from infidelity usually involves several stages, including an initial phase of heightened emotion, a period of reflection, and ultimately a stage focused on rebuilding trust and forgiveness. Given its complexity, infidelity invites diverse perspectives and responses, highlighting the nuances of human relationships.
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Subject Terms
Infidelity
Infidelity is synonymous with cheating and adultery. It occurs when one partner in a committed relationship is unfaithful to the other. Being unfaithful takes the form of engaging in physical or emotional acts with a person outside the relationship. These acts might include breaking a marriage vow, a promise, or engaging in sexual activities. Infidelity usually results in feelings of betrayal and mistrust in the person who was cheated on and often results in a breakup or divorce. Through the years, researchers have determined several gender differences when it comes to infidelity. For example, researchers Vivea J. Sheppard, Eileen S. Nelso, and Virginia Andreoli-Mathie (1995) found that men are more likely to engage in infidelity if they are unsatisfied sexually, and women are most likely to engage in infidelity if they are unsatisfied emotionally. In the United States, the Kinsey Report, published in 1953, was the first scientific study of US sexual habits, including infidelity. According to the Kinsey Report and several subsequent studies, approximately 20 to 25 percent of all men and 10 to 15 percent of all women have extramarital sex at least once during their marriage. In many cultures around the world according to anthropologist Laura Betzig (1989), infidelity is the most common cause for divorce.
Overview
Infidelity has been categorized into five forms. The first type is opportunistic infidelity, which takes place when one person is in a committed relationship and engages in behaviors normally reserved for their partner with an external person. This type of infidelity is brought on by situational factors; perhaps a spouse attends a business conference with a coworker and knows he or she will not get caught. Obligatory infidelity is centered on concern that denying someone’s advances would end up in rejection. Individuals in this category will cheat on their significant others because they want to win the approval or affection of another. Romantic infidelity happens when a person no longer loves or is attracted to his or her partner and stays in the relationship out of obligation or duty. Conflicted romantic infidelity happens when the person no longer loves or is attracted to his or her partner but desires to be with many different partners. The partner believes that he or she cannot communicate his or her feelings to the partner and cannot avoid the desire to engage in extramarital affairs. The last form of infidelity is commemorative infidelity, which happens when one person does not love the other but remains in a committed relationship.
Men and women respond differently to infidelity. Research shows that sexual infidelity within short-term relationships is the most hurtful for both men and women. However, sexual infidelity is the most offensive type of cheating for men. Moreover, men are typically more upset about deception of their romantic partner’s past sexual promiscuity than women are.
Infidelity affects numerous factors of a person’s well-being. First of all, it can spread sexually transmitted diseases. Secondly, both partners can suffer mental anguish, such as anger, guilt, shame, or grief. Infidelity also tends to negatively impact the self-esteem and trust of the partner who was cheated on. A person’s relationships with family and friends may also suffer in the wake of infidelity. Sometimes, a person’s spiritual feelings will be called into question in dealing with the fallout of infidelity. Adultery may cause either partner to question, modify, or strengthen his or her religious beliefs.
When a couple faces infidelity they usually go through several stages. The initial stage is called the ride stage, where emotions and anger are strong; the future of the relationship is in question. The next stage is the moratorium stage, where the person who was not unfaithful is not as emotional and tries to understand the behavior. The last stage is the trust-building stage where couples determine on ways to make their relationship work through forgiveness and trust.
Bibliography
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Betzig, L. “Causes of Conjugal Dissolution: A Cross-Cultural Study.” Current Anthropology 30.5 (1989): 654–76. Print.
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Carpenter, Christopher J. “Meta-Analyses of Sex Differences in Responses to Sexual Versus Emotional Infidelity Men and Women Are More Similar than Different.” Psychology of Women Quarterly 36.1 (2012): 25–37.
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“The Kinsey Institute—Sexuality Information Links.” The Kinsey Institute. Kinsey Inst. for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. n.d. Web. 18 July 2013.
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