Permissive parenting
Permissive parenting is a child-rearing style characterized by a lack of strict discipline and minimal expectations for behavior. Parents who adopt this approach are typically nurturing and warm, often emphasizing affection and attention rather than enforcing rules or consequences. They believe in allowing their children the freedom to make decisions, supporting the idea that children learn best through experiences rather than imposed guidelines. This parenting style was defined by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind, who noted that permissive parents often engage in reasoning with their children instead of resorting to punishment.
While children of permissive parents often develop high self-esteem and resourcefulness, they may also exhibit self-centeredness and a disregard for authority due to the absence of boundaries. This lack of structure can lead to challenges in managing responsibilities and adhering to societal expectations, potentially resulting in issues like impulsivity, poor academic performance, and unhealthy habits. Furthermore, permissive parents may struggle with enforcing rules, fearing that doing so could harm their relationship with their children, which can lead to frustration and confusion within the family dynamic. Overall, permissive parenting presents a complex mix of benefits and challenges that can shape children's development in various ways.
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Subject Terms
Permissive parenting
Permissive parenting is a style of raising children in which the parents rarely discipline their offspring. These parents refrain from being harsh and overly critical of their children. Parents are relaxed and passively accept the behavior, whether that behavior is quiet, loud, or violent. These parents do not ignore their children. On the contrary, they give their children both affection and attention. These parents tend to believe children need to be free to make good and poor choices and learn more without constant guidance, including rules. These parents do discuss decisions with their children and attempt to use reason and logic to help their children make better choices. Some view these parents as lax and over-indulgent.
![Parenting style is evident in the earliest days of a child's life. By Mark Colomb (Flickr) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons rsspencyclopedia-20170120-269-155903.jpg](https://imageserver.ebscohost.com/img/embimages/ers/sp/embedded/rsspencyclopedia-20170120-269-155903.jpg?ephost1=dGJyMNHX8kSepq84xNvgOLCmsE2epq5Srqa4SK6WxWXS)
Background
Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, first defined permissive parenting. According to her definition, permissive parents do not expect their children to behave a certain way. These parents will attempt to reason with their misbehaving offspring. If a child is throwing a tantrum and food items in a grocery store aisle, the permissive parent might well ask the child why they are hurling cereal boxes. The use of reason ties into another characteristic Baumrind used to define permissive parents. Parents are to be resources for their children, people their children can consult; these parents provide information to their children, and do not see themselves as role models.
Baumrind identified rewards and manipulation as marks of the permissive parent. The father with a screaming child in the grocery store, for example, might offer the child food, toys, or excursions to the park or movie theater as incentive to be quiet.
The child will not receive discipline for disruptive actions, according to Baumrind, because permissive parents encourage their children to regulate their own behavior. These parents believe that experiences are better teachers than rules. While they are attuned and responsive to the needs of their children, they demand little from them.
Permissive parents are not disinterested in their children. Baumrind thought that those who use this parenting style make meeting the needs of their children a priority, even though these parents' households do not adhere to a hierarchy. In the homes of permissive parents, parents and children are on equal footing; they are peers.
Permissive parenting is the opposite of authoritarian parenting. While people who use both parenting styles care about their children and strive to provide emotional support, authoritarian parents often give their offspring a variety of responsibilities and long lists of rules. These parents are demanding and quick to punish infractions. They do not explain the reasoning for rules to their children. When the child questions, an authoritarian parent may well respond, "Because I said so." This style of parenting could create a rift between parents and children, as children may well resent their parents. Children often have low self-esteem and are unhappy. These children may well adopt a permissive parenting style when they have reached adulthood and begin their own families.
Overview
The children of permissive parents often have high self-esteem. This high self-esteem comes at a cost, because these children can be self-centered. Because of the focus on themselves, they can be prone to bossiness. Their parents avoid the word "No," which leaves the children unprepared for being disappointed and not getting what they want from society in the future. They might dislike authority and hold rules in little regard, as rules were not enforced in their childhood, nor were they expected to follow any.
Because they grew up learning to make their own choices, they can be clever and resourceful. However, these children were raised without the security of rules and structure. This lack of structure can cause depression and anxiety. Without structure, these children can be impulsive, not thinking through decisions; thus, experts have found these children are statistically more likely to become involved with alcohol and drugs.
The grades of these children may also be negatively affected. They do not have standards to which they are held in the home. Children of permissive parents can be confused by the requirements of school and expectations that they meet standards to earn high grades.
Without responsibilities, they might not understand the importance of meeting obligations. The parents may complete necessary tasks for their children, instead of insisting the child complete these chores. Thus, they may not be independent. They can struggle with understanding why they must meet some expectations.
The children of such parents typically do not have limits imposed on time spent playing games, browsing the internet, or watching television. They are usually not given restrictions on what types of food they may eat. It is easy for them to become obese and develop unhealthy habits.
Because permissive parents want to be resources and peers to their children, sometimes their children feel they cannot approach their parents for guidance. Because of this confusion and lack of boundaries, the children can act out negatively.
Permissive parents are hesitant to impose rules and demands upon their children because they have a fear their children may love them less. They loathe confrontation and avoid it at all costs, even if it means giving in to unreasonable demands from their child. If they do try to institute rules, their children have already learned how to convince their parents otherwise, and the parents usually do not consistently enforce rules. If permissive parents manage to enforce consequences for broken rules, they might feel strong guilt, as if they are villains in their children's lives. These parents can become frustrated and even resent their children.
Bibliography
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