Family dynamics

In today’s ever changing, fast paced world, the one thing that remains of constant importance is family. Modern families come in many different forms and while they may look different to outsiders, they all end up being an important part of the members’ lives. The dynamics within each different family type has also evolved as society has become more accepting of different lifestyles.

TYPE OF PSYCHOLOGY: Clinical; Counseling; Developmental; Family; Social

Introduction

The concept of family and what it means to be a part of a family is highly subjective and deserving of discussion. While the idea of family has evolved over time, the importance of family has remained constant. The nuclear family has been deemed to be the “norm”; however, as society has become more accepting of different lifestyles, this idea has changed. There are older and younger parent families, single parent families, extended families, stepfamilies, and families who have adopted. Within these different types of families comes are different dynamics which form a family’s unique identity. People often equate family in the media to the definition of a normal family; however, currently what is normal is highly subjective. For some families normal is to have a stepmother raise the children while the biological dad is at work whereas other families might find this abnormal and frown upon this practice. There is no right or wrong way to be a family; however, it is important to discuss the various family dynamics most commonly accepted in today’s society so that we can deepen our understanding of those from different backgrounds than us.

Nuclear family

The nuclear family is most commonly considered an immediate family consisting of a mom, dad, and children. Research suggests that this definition is no longer applicable in the case of same-sex parent families; however, because there are still two parents without any children from previous marriages, this definition has merely evolved, not disappeared. The nuclear family definition has not been the only shift; the idea of family as a source of financial support has developed into an emotional-supportive centered relationship. The shift to a more emotional-supportive relationship has allowed families the opportunity to shape their relationships based on their feelings rather than what they are able to do for each other, facilitating deeper relationships.

Another change to the nuclear family is that people are living longer. Because of the increase in longevity, research suggests the importance of maintaining the emotional bond between generations. Another aspect relating to longevity is that many people are waiting to have children until later in life, after 35, thus resulting in older parents. Having older parents can often be scary for children. They voice concern that their parents may not be around for very long; however, this is typically a childhood worry that is outgrown.

Young parents can also be a part of the nuclear family. Young parents tend to be teen parents who decide to marry when they find out they are pregnant or they can be parents who decide to marry at a relatively young age.

Single parent family

Single parent families emerged as a family form in the 1970s. Before then, very few American families identified themselves as single parent households. Often, people assume single parent families are caused by one of the parents leaving; however, this is not always the case. Sometimes, single parent families arise after the death of a spouse. The widow or widower may not choose to remarry or even date, creating a single parent household. It is also common for single parent families to be the decision of the mother to not involve the biological father for various reasons. While not as common, single parent families can also occur after an unmarried person decides they want to adopt a child.

Extended family

Extended family in the most literal sense refers to family members outside of the nuclear family. As mentioned in the nuclear family, it is important to maintain relationships across generations because people are living longer, making it easier for these bonds to develop into meaningful relationships. Sometimes, extended family members will move back in to the home of a nuclear family member.

Often, these extended family members will be able to offer insight into the family life that parents might have a difficult time objectively doing. For example, a grandparent might be able to shed light on a situation for his or her grandchild after a big fight with Mom or Dad.

Aside from being an extension of the nuclear family, extended family can play a crucial role in the case of an emergency (e.g., death of both parents) or some other disruption to the nuclear family (e.g., drug or alcohol abuse). In these instances, grandparents may intervene and offer to raise their grandchildren. Sometimes, these situations lead to adoption while other times it is a temporary arrangement. This is dependent on many factors including but not limited to the age of the child.

Within different cultures it is also necessary to note that extended families play a big role in daily life. For example, within the Black community, extended family is incredibly important and often seen as central to a child’s healthy development.

Stepfamilies

Stepfamilies are often referred to as blended families. Stepfamilies on the surface appear to be straightforward, occurring when two people marry and blend their preexisting families, typically from at least one previous marriage. Within these families the stepparent, stepchild, and biological parent interact as one unit. Often, this merging of two families goes well; however, often there is a degree of hostility between the stepparent and stepchild. This hostility may lead to the stepchild only talking to their biological parent and making the stepparent feel excluded from the relationship. This phenomenon is referred to as triangulation.

There are often cases when the families blend and both parents have children from previous marriages. In these instances it is very important for the blending to go smoothly so that there can be a feeling of solidarity amongst all parties involved. Stepchildren might not get along with their stepparent’s children. If the parents are constantly speaking to each other about various issues arising within the family and children do not feel comfortable speaking to their stepparent about whatever situation may arise, it can lead to discomfort, hostility, and other negative feelings within the stepfamily unit.

Adoption

Families who decide to adopt make a decision to care for a child who is not biologically their own. When choosing to bring an adopted child into their home it is important for parents to take into consideration the child’s history as well as the expectations the couple will have for this child.

Sometimes, parents who have biological children of their own prior to adopting will have the same expectations for the newly adopted child, but because there are many factors at hand (e.g., race, culture, environment), it is impossible to hold children to any preexisting standard.

Within adoption are many variations. One type of adoption is open adoption where the adopted children are able to have a relationship with their biological parents. The second type of adoption is the closed adoption which does not allow the adopted child access to their biological parents.

Adoption can also occur in same-sex families. The same issues can arise in these instances, but it is important to note that same-sex parents often adopt all of their children which does not create preexisting expectations.

Bibliography

Bengtson, V. L. (2001). “Beyond The Nuclear Family: The Increasing Importance of Multigenerational Bonds”. Journal of Marriage and Family, 63, 1–16.

Hanson, S., & Sporakowski, M. (1986). “Single Parent Families”. Family Relations, 35(1), 3–8.

Berry, M., Barth, R.P., Cavazos Dylla, D.J., & Needell, B. (1998). “The Role Of Open Adoption In The Adjustment Of Adopted Children and Their Families. Children and Youth Services Review, 20, 151–171.

Roberts, S. (2010, March 19). Extended Family Households Are On Rise. New York Times, A12( L).

Speer, R. B., & Trees, A. R. (2007). “The Push and Pull Of Stepfamily Life: The Contribution Of Stepchildren’s Autonomy and Connection-Seeking Behaviors To Role Development In Stepfamilies”. Communication Studies, 58(4), 377–394.

"Understanding Family Dynamics." Psychology Today, www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/family-dynamics. Accessed 22 Jan. 2025.